“Every Bullet”

Posted: January 9, 2015 in Prose
Tags: , , , , ,


Every bullet fired in anger, every gun waved in rejoice,

Speaks volumes of the danger, of how we’ve come to lose our voice,

Every spilling of our precious blood, regardless of which Deity we claim,

Serves only to diminish all, to fertilise disdain.


Every bullet ever made in profit, profits all of none,

Manipulated fears and lies, solved only through the gun,

Every corpse left as carrion, as the bullets continue to fly,

Serves only to steal away our lives, to pile bodies high.


Every bullet missing a target, every rifle stuck or jammed,

Weapons destroyed or dismantled, reduces numbers of the damned,

Every hand extended in congruence, in the respect of differences that burn,

Serves as an educator, a chance for all to learn.


Perhaps we all hold bullets, the power to harm and destroy,

Tis up to all and one to see, we all have bullets we deploy,

Every time we meet adversity, we have two choices as we ride into that town,

To load the weapon with a bullet, or extend a hand,

 whilst laying the weapon down.



“The Reason”

Posted: February 14, 2014 in Prose
Tags: , ,


No one likes to give one, a Reason why they did,

All of us, stumble over words, we act just like a kid,

However, that is when we feel we’re wrong, when we feel we’ve done something we shouldn’t have done,

Alas, this Reason, holds no such fear, no such explanation,


We shudder, when we’re questioned. We shiver, within the glow,

As if;” How can they not understand, when I simply trust and know?”

She is the Reason, it’s not that hard, she lights me like a day,

What part of me , seeing her, …….questions you your way.?


No one likes to give one, a Reason why they feel,

It results in stumbling words and movements, that somehow, don’t appeal,

However, quelle surprise, justifying who you are,

is hardly a marathon runners extension,

Alas, the Reason holds no such fear,

no such explanation.


The Reason?

A Reason?

 Do I need a Reason at all?

To say that all my being, becomes swift in its enthral,

When in her presence, her gifted touch, her ears upon my talk,

Her lilted song, her melody, her shadow in my walk,


No one likes to give one,

a Reason, why they love,

For our words become all stumbled, as if we’ve become mute from up above,

However, I’m willing to sound like a fool, if it means that I can find a communication,

Alas ,

the Reason holds no such fear,

no such explanation.

Happy Valentines my love…..xxxx


“Lest We Forget”

Posted: April 25, 2013 in Prose
Tags: ,

With proud thanksgiving, a mother for her children,
England mourns for her dead across the sea.
Flesh of her flesh they were, spirit of her spirit,
Fallen in the cause of the free.

Solemn the drums thrill; Death august and royal
Sings sorrow up into immortal spheres,
There is music in the midst of desolation
And a glory that shines upon our tears.

They went with songs to the battle, they were young,
Straight of limb, true of eye, steady and aglow.
They were staunch to the end against odds uncounted;
They fell with their faces to the foe.

They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old:
Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning
We will remember them.

They mingle not with their laughing comrades again;
They sit no more at familiar tables of home;
They have no lot in our labour of the day-time;
They sleep beyond England’s foam.

But where our desires are and our hopes profound,
Felt as a well-spring that is hidden from sight,
To the innermost heart of their own land they are known
As the stars are known to the Night;

As the stars that shall be bright when we are dust,
Moving in marches upon the heavenly plain;
As the stars that are starry in the time of our darkness,
To the end, to the end, they remain.



Robert Laurence Binyon



Today I remember,



“Sitting on the sidelines of observation, occassionally beckons comment, sitting on the sidelines of humanity, occassionally beckons comment, sitting in my sexuality and having to defend it, occasionally beckons reposte” —-Anonymous

Gay Marriage………woah!

Let me state clearly from the outset………I am Hetro, I dont run around declaring ‘that’ at… every turn, it is just what I am, I like the opposite sex, and the sex with them…..so I become confused as to what it is to be Gay, for I have never been at a gathering, party, or occasion, that my sexuality needed to be announced, behaved, or open to comment,….however, the one thing that I do know, we are who we are….

The Gay Marriage debate, has allowed me to shift any prejudices that may have existed in my own mind, and I stipulate that these beliefs, are not about whether Adam loves Steve, or Adam loves Eve, no they were constitional beliefs….that is…..if a same sex couple wish to marry, then how are Hetrosexual couples threatened by this constituionally?

So lets walk….

Apparently, Adam and Steve can engage in a ‘Civil partnership’…so where’s the problem…?
Surely Civil Partnerships cover all accession rights, child rights, etc……or do they?

I shall allow the legalities of Gay Marriage find their way, for the greater discussion appears to be a moral one…

Hearing discussions about Marriage is for Procreation, and therefore Gay Marriage is a contradiction to such a concept, is, to say the least, misguided, unitelligent, and prejudicial.

Marriage is about commitment to a betrothed love. Nothing more, nothing less.

I have known people that have married, and never ‘procreated’ and yet their partnership under law still held, so ‘procreation’ is a non arguement.
I have also known marriages that have broken down , that have ‘procreated’…and as a result have effected the offspring in a way, that has conflicted them for their formative years,…..
I have also known terrific Hetro people…that have apparently ‘procreated’ successfully….
And they have ‘Procreated’
Gay Children…..

So this debate, becomes not a human debate, but a religious debate…..vested interests voicing, as is their right to do so,
However, let’s listen to all the voices, the tone, the invitation to acknowledging , the agreement, the knowing that either way, either side will still exist…..

So allow me the space to explore this…….I’m Hetro, born RC, and have kids, and usually as obedient to constituional decrees….
And let’s allow Steve,or Eve, the same……He’s/she’s Homo, Born RC, no kids , and usually obedient to constituional decrees,

So where does the conflict belong?

Being Roman Catholic?i

Surely not……..didnt Jesus welcome all?

All I know is this……..I got married once, and it didnt work out, that’s not unique, there are many that have walked that road, I marrieed for love,

To someone that I thought I was compatible with,
We split, and our sexual orientation has never changed…….
Marriage is about Love,
And no goverment should ever prevent that, no Christian should ever oppose that, and no society should ever exclude that,
no matter what form it comes in,
Marriage makes me Gay…….


The Days Gift To Every Mother

The Skittles and the Jelly tots, Cakes both Fairy and of Pan,
Sausages, all so piping hot, sultanas and all bran,
Laces tied up, always checked, in case a trip was planted,
Saliva washes, on ear, nose ‘n’ neck, all now taken for by the granted.

Lunch money, or packed sandwiches, and never wont of feed,
Transport to the ‘to and from’, love in every deed,
Butter on a piece of toast, a bib when teeth weren’t there,
A cuddle, oh, that was the most, a smile just full of care.

The proudest on the sidelines, as you grew every day,
Those words of comfort, that told you, you were a great sheep in the Nativity play
Requests of your room that needed tidying, requests of packed bags being ready for school,
Platforms for every soldier or princess, this woman is never a fool.

Her presence in your cuts and scrapes, would make a gaping hole disappear,
And most of us, when troubled, call out to her, to be near,
Does she reject the call, however busy? No…., she turns up every time,
No matter how troubled, herself maybe, she has never been a mime.

An Apron, an Apple, a pastry, a Hot roast Sunday Dinner,
A knowing, that in all her teachings, We can be sinner. We can be winner,
The one moment that must crush her, knowing it is all for the best,
That her whole being must morph with ours, as we fly away the nest.

For us all, tis natural, for we, as we fly , we feel forever young,
For her, it is a different song, still she harmonises to what must be sung,
She has taught us true, wrong from right, in the best understanding of herself,
Reared us, shared us, geared us, and walked us to the shelf.

Pink medicine, when we’re weary, coloured balloons at every age,

A little rub of kindness, another bedtime book turned page,
She never stops believing, that you can be the one,
And yet, she knows she sacrificed, just so your dreams may be done.

Bread and Butter Pudding, hundreds and thousands on dry bread,
Hand me downs, and promises, a new cover on your bed,
Look high, look low, search deep, and ask, can you mine as deep as she?
I suspect, your answer has to be Yes, that how she wanted you to be.

So, On this day, I’ll celebrate mine, in every breath, passion, and thought,
I’ll remember how she lifted me, remember what she taught,
In our simplest, basic, deepest heart, in time, there can never be never any other,

So let this prose,

be a bouquet of rhyme,

as the days gift to every Mother.

Happy Mother Day . xxxx


“My Fellow Cinderella”

Posted: March 8, 2013 in Prose
Tags: , , , ,

(A poem of support and hope to all struggling with austerity)

My Fellow Cinderella

Keep believing my fellow Cinderella, as you dutifully scrub the floor,
Keep close the dream of happiness, of love, and so much more,
Know that someday, your time will come, your script has been defined,
Your chains will loose, your light shall glow, as bright as the floor you’ve shined.

Fear not the constant struggles, for they will eventually make way,
Grow stronger in each oppression, in the belief of a better day,
Let those that keep you enslaved and poor, be wary of your grit,
For those that see your beauty and all, will soon bear witness to it.

Remember to carry yourself in grace, in pride, passion, and integrity,
For without these traits in your being, there will be no point in being free,
Know that those who choose to use you, will take from you, at every available turning,
So bear no guilt once free from them, dance to your higher learning.

Let your rags become your riches, let your chamber echo loud and strong,
Remember , no matter how hard they try, their darkness is not your song,
Raise your head, raise your heart, your princely freedom is awaiting true,
So keep believing my fellow Cinderella, your dream belongs to you.




The journey of departed times, has never been your wont, or mine,

It is just the script of living, in today, the here and now,

That conspires to breach,

our unity,

The texture of your breathed kiss, the scent of you, I deeply miss,

It is as if our Author , In some way, seeks to plough,

Against us with,


In truth may it all be revealed, that no man, nor woman,

has ever concealed,

Their every word, what they say,

How they interact,

When love comes,

a calling,

A once a year touch so long desired,

a drowned heart being reignited and fired,

Our every speak, is love,

that’s a fact,

When we love, We are,


Let no calendar be so defined,

let not what we have be undermined,

Let’s seek, let’s hold, in embrace of love’s power,

As if it is a,


Allow my kiss, on your cheek so gentled, hold you near, and get sentimentaled,

As we, together, throe in our hour,

May I speak these words,

of mine?

I thank you my lover, my friend, and my soulmate,

For being my




“An Emigrant’s Letter”

Posted: January 24, 2013 in Prose
Tags: , , , ,

I found this letter the other day, a letter of an emigrant of Australia, writing to a great Aunt, a fellow writer, and appreciator of prose, I thought I would share it with you..


Dear Auntie,

I am writing this letter at 3 am on the date as shown as above. Why? Because I have been sitting at my computer and was looking through some of my writings and found the letter that I had sent you in August of this year 2010.


In reading it, again, I am struck by the passion and poetry of my words, It is a beautiful letter, and it is in response to the hospitality of your heart that these words became borne, as we are generations apart, and many miles as well, it appears that humanity expressed in its truest form, can still inspire,


I thank you for that, and hope that this scribe finds in you rude health, as much as my last efforts of communication.


I have been remiss in not replying sooner, and to be honest have been embarrassed by your frequency of communiqué’s. This is pure laziness and  tantamount to disrespect on my behalf, nothing less and no excuse sought. My gratitude however ,is deeply felt.

I received your last package and your Christmas card. I have flitted though your writings, and to be honest have not taken enough time yet to dedicate my mind to them, for this I apologise. My intention in the new year is to focus upon the things that are local in my heart and cease to be partitioned by the ‘bigger’ pictures in life. Looking after the ‘pennies’  now seems to bear more fruit, God bless the gift of wisdom.


There are many reasons why I write now, but perhaps the most prominent one is this:


I had the pleasure of the company of a most beautiful woman tonight, A lady that has shared my growth over this side of the world, she opened my heart some years ago, and there are far too many details to go into here just now.


Suffice to say, we were holding each in soft embrace, and she enquired as to my tears. I didn’t realise they were apparent, for they were not tears of sadness, and yet they were.


My response was as follows:

“I was just  looking at you, and had one of those moments when your breath can stop. You ask me why I cry? I ummed and aahhhed, and said,

I have just imagined sitting at an outdoor coffee shop table with an old friend that I haven’t seen for twenty years and trying to describe you.”


My eyes began to flow, and my look into hers never wavered,


I said to her, as I would to my long lost friend,


She is like the Tanami, vast, beautiful, encompassing and holds that rhythm that belongs to the River Katheryne, The escarpments, The Plateaus, The Kookaburra, The Hopper of Grass, The spinifex,  The bridge of London, and yet still unfallen, ,


In one moment in time she became part of that heartbeat that is belonging me,


The beauty of all that, is what flowed from me.


It was, for me, the fact that I saw it, recognized it, knew it, and savoured it, and still had the ability to live it, express it, and in turn sit here and write this down for you, to share, in deference and acknowledement to those of us, that can connect to the humanity of the individual with one heartbeat in harmony with the very land that gifts us life.


This is how beautiful she is.



Yet again Ireland finds itself arguing the toss over the issue of abortion.

There is no doubt it is an emotive issue, and for that reason alone, I have always tried to avoid any discussion around this issue over the internet, until now.

For as both sides continue to put forward their side of the discussion, we seem to lose track of the fact that as each day passes, and we moralise in debate…….Mary still boards the ferry……

So lets take a look at the current state of play in this never ending debate.

The tragic passing of Mrs Savita Hallapannavar has brought this issue into sharp focus, and one wonders if her very traumatic death had never occurred, would we be any closer to legislation…

The Irish government have been obliged to legislate for abortion in certain circumstances for over twenty years. The fact that successive governments have failed in this duty, regardless of its content or context, has been lamentable to say the least, and negligent and incompetent to be generous. Whatever we may think about the incumbent administration, at least they are taking up the mantle and attempting to address their duty to the constitution voted for by the people of the land.

“X case and the letter of the law” http://www.irishexaminer.com/analysis/x-case-and-the-letter-of-the-law-184761.html

“Government will legislate to allow abortion in line with X Case ruling” via The Journal.ie http://www.thejournal.ie/ireland-to-legislate-for-abortion-721493-Dec2012/

In the meantime, Mary still boards the ferry…….

So what are the deeper arguments?  The Anti-abortionists, or Pro Life lobby, as they prefer to be known, claim that any abortion is abhorrent, often citing religious beliefs, the greater good, and that nobody in their right mind would consider such an act, the more extreme elements suggest it to be murder of the innocents, either way, they appear to be not for turning, under any circumstance. And in any democracy, they have that right.

The Pro Abortionists, or Pro Choice Lobby, as they prefer to be known, suggest that abortion is a right of a woman, to choose, to recognise her choice may not be yours or mine, but hers, and that any prevention of that choice could have a detrimental effect upon both mother and child in the long run, either way, they appear to be more open to the concept of the individual as a contributor to the greater good. And in any democracy they have that right.

In the meantime, Mary still boards the ferry……

This current debate has descended into Doctors speaking in the House of the Oireachtas stating such things as ‘I need to know if I will not be jailed, or that suicide is never a treatment for abortion, it has seen Clergymen and Athiests give their point of view, it has seen spurious arguments declaring the highest court of the land was wrong, it has seen emotive claims that this legislation will be the ‘slippery slope’ and ‘open the floodgates’ without providing a predicitve figure or estimate, it has been manipulated to avoid the substansive issue, that is, that under the European Courts of Human Rights the Irish Government must legislate…….

“….European Court of Human Rights ruling which deemed the absence of legislation in Ireland to be a breach of human rights.”

In the meantime, Mary still boards the ferry……

Let’s be clear, it is presumed, the majority of us would have to travel a long way to find someone who would see abortion as a first option, and therefore, by way of extension, can understand that any such decision has been arrived at with great trepidation and thought by the women who arrive at this choice.

Their reasons may be manifold, and they are their reasons, not yours, nor mine, simply theirs.

The question that raises is this……will either lobby group be there for the woman who cant have an abortion in Ireland when she is in her hour of brokeness…or is she left alone in her decision?

We dont have to like the legislation, we dont have to trumpet the legislation, all we have to do as a nation, is implement the legislation….

In the meantime, Mary still boards the ferry……..


“The ‘Blow In’ Sod”

Posted: January 5, 2013 in Comment
Tags: , , ,

Today, this Saturday,January 5th of 2013, I attended my second funeral in three days….

Thankfully, these funerals, were of elderly folk, people that had lived an age, reared a family, survived all changes that every decade presented them. I am certain, that I may never know the hardships that they endured, and often think, my hardships are just wee hiccups compared to theirs, alas, we perceive as we do…..

You see for me, the first funeral, was of a man I had never met, but of a man whose sons I have been fortunate enough to know well. There was never any reason for me to meet their Father, nor he me, that is the way rural life in Ireland is,when you are a ‘blow in’ , ye shall meet,when ye do…..

Yes, it is in the vales and rises of rural Ireland that I dwell, a small village, that used to boast a corner shop/post office, a church, and a two pubs, and proudly held a population of approximately 300 people.

Today, it has, no corner shop/post office, one pub, and of course the Chapel is still the most prominent structure in the village, although, perhaps, not the most frequented……and the population? Well, it has been gifted the wheels of emigration…..

Nonetheless, there I was today, attending, nay, singing, at a funeral mass of an eighty year old woman, from the village. A woman, that whenever I saw her over the sixteen years of being a ‘blown in’ , always had time for me. She was one of the first ladies that I met when I arrived to this corner of Ireland, and boy, she was simply, the Lady, of the Village.

The priest today, paid her a most beautiful tribute, when he said,    ‘She was in the church as often as the altar itself…’

And here she was, encased in a pine box, with her family near by, and a congregation that had only been seen in the same numbers two days before, and on Christmas Eve before that…

The funeral mass came and went, her sons carried her with pride, to her rest, and the many, gathered in the local hall, for tea and ‘sangwiches’….

It was only when I went out for air, that I saw one man, down by the grave, shovelling clay, back into the grave, a local chap, a mate, near the same age, that I realised, hang on……this is done by us…..

So I walked down, in my Sunday best, took off my coat, and picked up the spare shovel…….One became two, became three, became six…….in no time, ‘Kitty’ was laid to rest……

It was in this sharing, that I remarked to the other lads….”I think this knocks the ‘Blow in’ off me………”

Either way, It was a pleasure to lay clay upon a Lady




“The Hand”

Posted: October 3, 2012 in Musings
Tags: , ,

Such a simple statement, such a simple image,

The Hand.

Think about it, what images come to mind, when you hear or read those words…. The Hand?

Is it influenced by hope? Or influenced by bitter experience? Does it conjure up Welfare recipients? Or does it supplant an artist at work? Whatever your image, The Hand, is a metaphor, and our way of receiving its image is our life experience. The Hand can also be a deal from a Deck of Cards, or the very thing that helps us cling to the last breath of life.

The Hand, helps us enormously in life, sure, it even allows this Voice, to type these thoughts, (unless you think I have a very dextrious appendige that isnt a Hand)….., Yes, the Hand allows us to greet, to say ‘Hi’, to express opinions on referees and politicians, to butter toast, to butter lovers, to butter ourselves……it’s a pretty impressive thing really..

So why should I write about such a thing?

Well, you see, most people in life are born lucky enough to have two of them…and knowing what one hand can achieve, imagine the capabilities of two?

The simplest example of this, what it means to have two Hands, is the wonderful, astonishing, fulfilling power of what Two hands can do. They, combined, can build bridges, hold people close, play instruments, connect a parent to their partner and child in a walk in the park, and they can help support a saddened head overwhelmed in the throes of life.

But the greatest thing Two Hands will ever achieve……is applause, that sound of instinctual appreciation, communicated, spontaneously on many occasions, as a way of simply saying….I like what you do, thank you.

Alas, that is two hands,

The singular Hand,…. ‘The Hand’…. has an equally effective role in life, however, when on a solo run, it is less likely to be heard. But boy, it can be powerful, as it will act on its own, without approval of a majority, or the need to be of a collective, it will just do what it can do, and most times, when isolated, will act out of love.

It will be brave enough to admit that it cannot applaud you, but it will endeavour to create that sound briefly by patting you on the back,…. it may not be strong enough to hold you, but it will linger long enough to set you free,….. it may struggle to light a candle for you, but, once lit, it will hold your candle with passion, However.

The single greatest thing ‘The Hand’ can do……is to reach out to another, and that is when the applause resonates…….

and so, I raise my Hand to you…


I know we can do this,

July 28th, 2012

What will we achieve? Tangibly, we may never know, all I know is, it is worth doing.

So please allow me to explain how this came about,

I have been privileged to be able to present a radio program that seeks to explore social and political issues, and have covered many varied topics in the past.Some of these have been Institution abuse, Ireland’s Drink Culture, Referenda Debates, Domestic Violence, The Household Tax, Drug Abuse, Marital Separation,Depression, to name a few….. and so, I hope to be able to bring you more of the same in the future.

I have no research team, or major network system that can find me stories, so I rely on a heck of a lot of goodwill and good luck.  I  broadcast on a Sunday, a one hour show, and have often not known what I was going to do by the previous Thursday. Some shows are held with a panel, some are held with one to one interviews, some are held together with cellotape!……the topic dictates the method..thus the name of the show, “The Cutting Edge” , what you hear is on the edge, every time,

You see the type of show that I present, many people say: “Yes, that needs to be discussed”, but the very people that have that extraordinary experience, often,upon an invitation to share their story reluctantly say, ‘Oh, no, I couldnt do that…’

And that is to be respected, no problem with that.

So, a few weeks back, and not for the first time, I decided to discuss Suicide,  an issue that most of us say should be discussed, and yet most of us are reluctant to discuss….

I was privileged to conduct a one hour radio discussion on this subject, which in my eyes, is a rarity. For this topic, as most serious topics of our media today, is given a ‘slot’ to fit the supposed attention span of the listener.

That  is where I tend to differ to the ‘mainstream’, for I like to get down under the skin with my guests, as long as they wish to travel there as well, I ask questions, that allow, not questions that set agenda, I seek for my guest to inform you, not me… for I am just a listener,like you.

And so, on this particular episode, one of my panelists was an amazing young lady named Liz Campbell. She came on to the program to seek volunteers and support  for the All Ireland Skydive Challenge,https://www.facebook.com/All.Ireland.Skydive.Challenge

An event that seeks to raise awareness and funds that help to combat Suicide.

This remarkable young lady, had a passion, a passion that only someone that has traveled the darkness can know, her energy was infectious, her honesty was a gift, her message was simple. (paraphrased)

“I have been there, and I am going to do whatever I can to help others to not go there….”

So here I was, on radio, and found myself struggling for words, committing the greatest of radio crimes…….’Dead Air’.….. The only words I could find were…..”Sign Me Up, I’m in”

Now, it is at this point, that I will categorically state, this is not a stunt……and I hope I have shown that by not mentioning the radio station, or my name, etc thus far………this is just a happenstance.

I met someone that was so passionate about something, that my fear of dying became secondary to my fear of the sorrow of someone else dying. And my empathy and congruence, which I assume is equal to you that reads this, was challenged to be put into action. Not by Liz Campbell, for she respectfully, didnt throw that challenge to me on air, she didnt have to, I heard her, just as a listener,  Tis as Simple as that.

So, here we are, I have signed up to jump out of a plane at 10,000 feet. It isnt a big deal really is it, no one has died in a skydive accident in Ireland as far as the records show, as far as I can gather, so I should be ok, shouldn’t I?

But jumping out of a plane at that height and hitting the ground isn’t the issue, sure, it might be scary, but if I was to ‘bounce’ sure I wouldn’t have to worry would I? Game over.

No, it is the feeling of falling, that has me challenged, for that is a fear that not one of us wishes to face, explore, experience.

For me, this is an enormous challenge, for some years ago, I nearly lost my life, and to throw myself again into an experience that can resurface all of those emotions, is the greatest challenge I have had in years, a challenge I greatly accept, for it will confront possibly all my fears in one defined moment. Game on.

And so here we are, as I opened this blog with a statement saying ‘I Know We Can Do This’

Here is my challenge to you. And You are under no obligation to engage, support or fund, I just seek to invite you to do so, however you can.

The skydive challenge means I must raise funds, they say 500 euro, so for me that is 100 people donating 5 euro each , or 500 people donating 1 euro, etc…. to this cause. If you choose to support me in this, then firstly thankyou, and secondly, this is how you go about it. You can lodge your support  into this account.

Bank:          Bank of Ireland
Acc Name:  Ms Elizabeth Campbell

Ref: #kevq

Acc num:     23285918
Sort Code:   90 60 64

If you have any problems doing this, please let me know either thru this blog, or via twitter @reclaimthevoice , or contact the people, Rosie, Liz or Eddie on the facebook page.

The reference name of #kevq will just be a way of the All Ireland Sky Dive Challenge deciphering who is raising which funds, if that makes sense, …I have never done anything like this before….so can only ask you to trust my ignorance  on these things……

The All Ireland SkyDive Challenge asks each ‘jumper’ to raise 500 euro, and that is fair enough. I want to raise so much more than that, through your word of mouth, your friends, and theirs etc……I know we can do this.

All funds raised are donated to

Pieta House: http://www.pieta.ie/?gclid=CK3omoj-9LACFYFO4Qod52Ym9Q

Lifeline: http://lifeline-kilkenny.org/

and Ola Gola: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FMw5fKK9B3A

For now I will thank you for at least taking the time to read this. There is more to write about this project, but I will save that for another post, and if all you can do by way of support, is to re post this, or re tweet this, then you have done what you can, and it is appreciated. 

July 28th The All Ireland SkyDive Challenge: Suicide Prevention and Awareness

We can do this, and if we cant, then who will?

Let’s all take the #LeapOfFaith

I know we can do this




Through the shadow, of the darkest day, neath the covers of the deepest grey,

Lies the answer that blows all the cobwebs away,

And it waits for you to claim it.

In the longest tunnel that refuses light, when the brightest day appears like night,

When ne’er a thing seems to be going right,

It still waits for you to claim it.

When the summer’s day feels like winter’s cold, when every muscle feels so weary, aged, and old,

When you wish all those untruths,had remained untold,

It will be there, waiting for you to claim it.

If the midday sun serves only to blind, when life’s answers seem so hard to find,

Then the search for it, will ease your mind,

For it will be there, and waits for you to claim it.

It belongs to you, it holds no grief, it dances with joy, and endless belief,

It protects your heart from any thief,

And is waiting there for you to claim it.


What is it?


Your smile 



A letter has been sent out this week to many Single Parents in Ireland, or as the Dept of Social Protection calls them, Lone Parents.  Now this is not unusual, as many people in receipt of Social Welfare often receive correspondence from the relevant Depts, according to their welfare needs.

So, the communication, is not at issue here, but the content is:

The letter is notifying Lone Parents of the changes made to their allowance, which were announced in the now long forgotten Budget of 2011. And it not pleasant reading at all. The Dept website has a copy of this letter, which can be viewed here:


Now, let’s take a look at these changes, a Lone Parent, whose payment is more or less, about 30 euro above the unemployment benefit (in the case of One child), has now been told that they can earn no more than 130 euro a week before their allowance is effected, the previous figure was 146.50 euro.  A reduction of 16.50e.

This roughly translates at 15.02 hours per week at the minimum wage (8.65) for an adult over 18, http://www.jobsguideireland.com/minimum-wage-rate-in-ireland/

Now, if our Lone Parent wants to try to improve their lot, and due to the restrictions that single parenting can manifest, they may avail of a training scheme of 20 hours per week through FAS, which would provide a further 188.00 euro, or that should be, used to provide that amount. http://www.fas.ie/en/Allowances+and+Grants/Training+Allowances/default.htm

For you see, the new changes to the Lone Parent payment, have put and end to that, it states that a ‘dual’ payment is no longer an option. Some may say that’s a great thing, others may say, it is a retrograde step.

Another massive and really quite stupefying amendment is that from 2015, any child over the age of 8 years of age, is no longer considered worthy of support by the state, or am I reading that wrong? Think about it, an 8 year old child, through no fault of their own, in their third year of primary education, is not worth supporting……. a saving by the government that will carry a cost into tomorrow’s future…….

It is important to state at this juncture, that how an individual has arrived at being a Lone Parent is not in question here, Bereavement, Seperation, Teen Pregnancy, among others are all part of the equation, and not the responsibility of the vulnerable child.

So let’s summarise what the government are proposing:

1.A Lone Parent, if working, will be penalised for trying to create a better living within the confines that single parenting creates, by working.

2.This same parent, where once being able to offer their skills on a manageable time basis of 20 hours per week, through a FAS course, is now being told, they can have one payment or the other, but not both. In any one’s language, as the payments are more or less the same, it is clear, that the incentive to work,or upskill, has been removed by such thinking.

3. As of 2015 a Lone Parent with a child over the age of 8 will be considered neither Lone nor a Parent by the state, as no supporting payment will be available.

So the conclusion I have arrived at this this:

A Lone Parent is often excluded from the work force due to requirements and demands that  confront the single parent, and therefore, are unable, in many cases to sign on as a JobSeeker,  which is a requirement to avail of a FAS Training course, and when their child hits their 8th birthday, both the Parent and child will find themselves left in a void of non existence according to the state.

And the government are proposing to hold a referendum later this year, that enshrines the rights of the child into our constitution….

Dept of Social Protection?

Perhaps it may be better described as the Dept. Of Social Rejection!!!!


It has often been said that the greatest asset any nation has is its people, its citizens. For they are the very ingredient that is necessary for any thriving economy. The population of any country are the lifeblood of its economic fluidity, it is the oil that makes the ‘machine’ run smoothly, allowing it to operate in a constant rhythm of production and achievement.

In 2012 the state of the Irish Economy is such, that the oil ,that has kept this machine running, is fast running out. The Economic presses are grinding to a halt, and the government are refusing to even acknowledge the possibility of the machine coming to a premature end. Instead they are seeking to drive the production line to breaking point whilst at the same time refusing to maintain the machinery.

How so. you may ask?

A simple look at the unemployment figures of approximately 450 000  will help prove this point. A single adult on Jobseekers allowance will receive around 188.00 euro per week in Social Welfare.

Now, if we assume that this adult has a car which is generally required for the ability to engage with employment, then we can say that the running costs of fuel alone will be reasonably 40.00e p/w, coupled with tax and insurance costs, another 20 euro(conservative) can be added to this. so that’s 188.00 – 60= 128.00 euro remaining.

Electricity p/w can also conservatively be estimated at 20.00e p/w so we now have 108.00e remaining.

The choice of heating, be it oil, gas, electric, can also be estimated at 20.00e p/w depending upon weather, and many people have taken to buying 25 litres of kerosene on a weekly basis as they can no longer afford to buy a ‘fill’ for their tanks. So if we accept this figure of 20.00e then we are left with 88.00e remaining.

Now, so far this single person has a car, taxed and insured, as by the requirements of law, they have power so they can at least wash themselves and their clothing, and they have some form of heating to help keep them  somewhat comfortable during the cold nights that Ireland has on a frequent basis.

So with the remaining 88.00 euro, a citizen, must buy some food obviously. Now over seven days this would equate to an average spend of 12.57e per day, or if you prefer , an average spend of 4.19 per meal  @ 3 meals a day. Not impossible to do, but after a while, I am sure our friend will become very tired of Pasta, toasted sandwiches, and cereal, day in day out.

Now, some expenses that havent been included here are: Rent/mortgage bills, Life insurance (required by mortgage holders), House and Contents Insurance, Clothing, Mobile/Landline Phone charges, Birthdays/Christmas gifts, and dare I say it…entertainment expenses. Factor in the possibility of children into this persons life, and yes their payment may increase a little, but as we all know, a child can be a financially demanding reality.

Now our poor unemployed person here is also facing new taxes, depending on circumstance, of the Household Charge, Septic Tank Charge, Water Charge, Broadcast License Fee, and ever increasing Petrol/Diesel prices, and no doubt, increasing utility charges.

So how does this translate into the running of the ‘machine’?

Well, my local ‘corner’ store and my local butcher both today said ‘it is so quiet out there…..’. as in, no one is spending, the butcher even went as far to say ‘you could see a tumbleweed blow down the street….’. The Corner store man said, he has ‘never known it to be so quiet, and it is happening over the last two weeks, trade is coming to a standstill’.

So it appears the Mandarins in Government House, all who are on decent salaries, benefits, and pensions, are so far out of touch, that they honestly believe a charge of 50 euro here, and 100 euro there, will only marginally effect people. Maybe they are right? If those people are on similar pay scales and conditions to them that is, but at least 450 000 people will be affected severely by these charges,  and will be pushed to the margins indeed.

As stated at the beginning of this piece, the greatest assets of any nation are its people, and it is incumbent upon any government to create the atmosphere for job creation and growth, not to stifle it.

So if we read between the lines of our unemployed friend, He drives a car, to buy food, goes home, and uses little heat, and electricity, cannot afford to go out, and does his best to remain  positive. He has done no wrong, but he has been stripped to the last by these stealth taxes. And as a result, so too has his local businesses been affected by his inability to spend, and so too will their suppliers, and so on and so on…..

He was once seen by this country as a ‘Ripping Asset’ but alas now is seen only as worthy of “Asset Stripping”


“Wherever We May Be”

Posted: December 29, 2011 in Prose
Tags: , , , ,


Wherever you go, where ever we may be,

Nothing will ever replace you and me,

The parting glass, that I have supped so well,

Has always been the juice of a broken heart, to where this heart does dwell,

The life destroying fear of loneliness, that is a bowe (sic) to this man’s string,

Is not unique, nor a strange thing,

It is just one of those human experiences, that occasionally sing a tune,

It has answers within; it has its own story, its own Rune,

Tis not the fear of new life, that disconcerts this soul,

Tis, the knowing of this man’s life, less your voice, that creates the hole,

It is in such knowing that a hole, can be a mine, a discovery , a moment in time,

That this old man, will treasure the love lost as a ticking clock,

A moment in time, that can never be forgot,

And wherever I go, or lay my bones down, I beg you to know, that it was because I had to,

I had to live, I had to feed,

I had to grow again, and I did, from your very seed,

But as I came from the desert, and you came from the sea,

It is only now, I realise, that we,

Have created, a shore, created a forest,

Created a rhythm, envied by most,

We have created the moonlit stars, the dawn breaking sparrow song,

We have created the most beautiful place, where Hearts should belong,

 We created Harmony,

 we created Funny,

We created tears,

we created sighs,

We spent, too much time apart where are creation brought, wherefore’s and  ‘why’s’

We angered in each other, without even wanting to admit,


Came back each time to our creative beings,

So be it,

We cried, and sorrowed, without allowing each other to see,

We let down each other,

 with true integrity,

We harmed, we hurt, we became the most frustrating  to each other,

Because we had stopped admitting that we were,



In ether,

 in throes,

We were lovers,

It is the song of your pleasure, and the touch of your hand,  

The painful denial, that shield, that says,

Hey Man,


And then the dance begins, as only we can know, where, your wanting equals my rejection,

We become as one, for some strange reason,

You have a warming, and I,  your reflection,

But that is not what it is about,

It is much deeper than that, surely,

I feel it belongs somewhere, in a modern day context,

If I may analogise,

Our love, is like this for me,

It is like being a someone that has found that little beautiful country cottage,

 and then discovering,

 that the very land that it lies upon is based upon the richest vein of gold.

And you are the gold,

 and yet to mine you,

 would feel like defiling you,

It is like knowing, that I sit in the presence of a treasure,

And I know it,

I need not sing it,

 plough it,

 mine it,

 exploit it,

All I need to do is,

 know it.

And indeed I do.

Wherever we may be ,

“I Speak Your Name”

Posted: October 29, 2011 in Prose
Tags: , , ,


I speak your name, softly;


Almost breathlessly;

I caress your very sound as you quietly leave my lips

And climb upon the playful breeze

My kiss will hold your name; My desire will seek your kiss,

And you shall always live in my heart.


The breeze grows stronger, transforms in the wind, calmly,



You cleanse me through your breath, I close my eyes

And see you, experience you,

My hand will hold you near,

My touch will seek your hand,

And you shall always enlighten my heart.


The wind increases to gale, not fiercely, but stoicly,



I scream your name to fuel your existence

And dance wildly in you throes,

My passion will breathe you deeply,

My wont will seek your passion,

And you will always fire my heart.

The gale relieves in tempest and returns an air of calm, peacefully,



I speak your name in silence and embrace you as you rest,

My joy will hold your laughter,

My soul will seek your joy,

And you shall always know my heart is loving you


Each time I speak your name.

Prospecting The Truth

Posted: September 25, 2011 in Prose

Walking innocently through the forever winding roads of life,

I arrived at a stop sign, or is it more of a road block, perhaps a detour, To be honest it seems more like a calling, a seduction, a promise of serenity,

Like a terrainean mermaid’s siren beckoning me to her breast.


The valleys and vales that have welcomed and challenged me, in equal measure,

Have been but just mere obstacles and occasional refuge on my journey,

As I prospect for the truth,

My prospecting, never focused, nor deliberate, but always curious,

Has revealed many gems, and a thousand more disappointments and false dawns,


One hundred failings can only fulfil the belief that the mother lode is nearby,

Just under the surface, or midway on the rise of the valley,

Lying peacefully undisturbed like the beauty waiting for the princely kiss, she lies there

Waiting in anticipation, to give the touch bestowed upon her, by Midas,

Upon my life.


Prospecting for the truth, becomes a tragic, obsessive pursuit, that can render me blind and weary,

And smite my senses to the very presence of the miner’s grail,

The idiocy that prevails in determination, serves only to highlight the capacity of the fool and not the perseverance of the man,


For he would be alive to the knowing through experience, tribulations, triumphs and travails,

If he were not so consumed with the prospecting, as to the prospect

Of the truth.


And yet she lies there, in tranquillity, ready to blossom as the eternal poppy, ready to flower  as only beauty can,

For she is the truth in all its form.

Alas she is caged and cannot be free until the prospector finds her,

For only then will she live and only then will he have found an end to his searching,


When my eyes opened, when my heart held the rhythm of the land,

When my ears heard only the siren of angel,

And my feet could not move,

I found myself at this stop sign,

You were there, before me, I was captivated, spellbound,

Like a drunken sailor I couldn’t resist the allure,

And as a prospector I knew its worth,

I offer you my kiss, and although I am not royal, I feel as a king amongst men,

And as you break free from your cage, I will lay my shovel down,

And prospect no more,

For I have seen and found the truth

In you.

One Great Step…..

Posted: September 14, 2011 in Prose

Those famous and oft used words, originally spoken by Neil Armstrong as he took those first tentative steps upon the moon back in July of 1969, spring to mind here for this Voice.

For this is my very first ‘blogpost’ and first entry into this strange new world. I know the perils that face me here may not be on the same scale as those that faced Mr. Armstrong, however, there are similarities in so far as I am entering a new sphere, an unknown world, a domain, that is both exciting and intriguing.

Knowing that each tap of the keyboard leaves a permanent trace of my existence, of my being in a certain time, can be frightening, knowing that today’s thoughts could be resurrected some years down the road, and used against me, just as happens many a political figure, does not overly concern me.

My biggest concern is if my thoughts and feelings have remained the same over the years. For if that proves to be the case, then I have been set in stone, in narrow mindedness, in stubbornness, and broken flexibility.

So, if you are reading this first blog, then thank you, and may we enjoy this journey together.

One Great Step……..

“It has come to this”

Posted: April 16, 2016 in Uncategorized

“It has come to this”

As I write this, my heart is utterly shattered, bruised, battered, and again asking ‘what did I do in a previous life’ because I sure as hell am paying for some previous indiscretion..

So let’s travel..

I’ve lived in Ireland since 1992, married an Irish Citizen and have two beautiful Irish kids, now 19 and 21….

My wife and I legally separated back in 2010, and being a Foreign National I had to possess an ‘immigration card’  a GNIB.  Each year I would renew this, no problem, it was just a  paperwork exercise, and no hassle to do.

However, in 2014 my passport was expiring, and a valid passport was needed to renew the GNIB card….not only that, but the officer I met every year had retired, and her duties had been transferred to another Garda station….so I turned up there, as obliged to renew my papers.


This new officer informed me, as I only had a week left on my passport, she couldn’t renew my status….I informed her, I cant afford to renew my passport,due to my self employment business suffering the joys of the effects of austerity budgets.   ( I used to do contract work within the education system helping children in need and funding had been cut)

A new passport would cost me 250 euro, money I didn’t have….she also informed me, the new GNIB card would cost me 300 euro…..This was a new development, as I had never been charged before…so there you go..I had to find 500 odd quid…and with no continual employment, this was a fantasy..

So I asked, what happens next?

She said: “You will become illegal..”

I said: “well arrest me now, as I dont have the money to pay…”

She laughed and said: “Just come back when you have your new passport..”

Fast forward to March 24th 2016

I finally got enough work to renew my passport in February 2016, and more work that could help me afford to pay for this card…the only problem was, it was 12 months work, on a building site in London, and I wasn’t sure if I could travel…but it was work..and a team of 6 were travelling from Ireland, as very little work existed in our rural area…so I traveled across on the 15th of March, and we all returned for the Easter break on Holy Thursday the 24th of March.  All of the ‘gang’ went thru Passport control..except for me…

My papers were out of date, and this presented a problem…..having lived in Ireland for 24 years, raised a family, owning a house, etc….I had assumed I would be ok….essentially, I was no different from the rest of the ‘gang’ just not a citizen… technically a resident for 22 of 24 years….by their rules.


Boy did I get that wrong……


After being told to sit and wait….etc….for 45 mins at least, the presiding officer, came out and informed that I would be detained and placed on the next plane available..

I was gobsmacked….and said: “You can’t do that, I’ve got kids, and a house, etc….:”

She sought further supervision, another 45 mins later, and came back with   ‘We will grant you 30 days, you must return before or by this date, otherwise you will be arrested and deported. Currently you are just being refused ‘Permission to Land’

So there you go…..24 years, wiped out just like that, because of austerity…..

So why not just find 600 quid to update the paperwork for the last two years….? Alas common sense is not that common

Nope, bureaucracy, gone mad  tis better to deport a person that was trying to work, better to break a family, better to get rid of someone that holds a first class honours degree, best to get rid of someone who in 24 years has never even had a parking fine, better to just flex muscle and push pens, rather than see the Human story….


So come the end of April 2016

For the sake of 600 quid…..

It has come to this…




New developments have arisen,,,,Part 2 to this story will follow,,,,








Conor McGregor

Conor McGregor, I beggar, is the news of the day,
A world champion in a weight division, and in another cut down like hay,
A fighter in a sport they call UFC,or if you prefer  Mixed Martial Arts,
Where all contenders come from the world, come from all her parts.
Now many see McGregor as  a cur, buffoon, an obnoxious little chap,
To him that matters little, as he puts his life and country on the map,
He’s successful in his field, and his field requires pain,
So I’ll just simply laugh at those, that have never had to train.
Now he lost a fight, against Nathan Diaz, before he ever entered the Octagon Ring,
And I’ll tell you why, and I cant believe, he missed this simple thing.
I’ll elaborate, slowly, for I think this is important indeed,
And McGregor if he reads this, may well grow from this seed.
I’ve fought a battle, near killed, by result of an accident,
So I know what pain/struggle/failure has meant
And yes, I’ve felt that fear and used it, to motivate me once again,
The difference is , and he knows this, you never call people other names
The fight game is unique, accepted, and I understand the ‘sell’ of the fights,
But the lesson surely for McGregor is,  the bloke  that spoke less, won the speaking rights.
We all can see through the ‘razzamatazz’ , and as much as it feeds our thirst
The Guy, who said  ‘he’d bury him’ finished second, didn’t finish first.
Now don’t get me wrong, I like this guy, I like his depth of dedication,
He doesn’t get to be where his without pain and humiliation.
I suspect he’s probably worked harder than anyone we could know
A 120 hour week at least, between all the media  side show
So what is it, what I’m trying to say…? Well let me put it as straight as this..
Conor McGregor lost to Diaz for he bought into the bullshit of showbiz.
How do I know? Oh I know… and I’ve fought every step in the dark,
Having a punch up in an octagon…..?  Jaysus a bloody walk in the park
True champions do the work, on the field of play,
They seek not to belittle any, for they know it comes back biting some day,
True Champions, face all challenges from a place of respect,
Otherwise they just become, a showbiz puppet that showbiz will reject
So I beggar, Conor McGregor…knowing your financial worries may well be no more
If and when you decide to pick yourself up from the floor,
You’ll truly represent the Irish, by respecting your adversary..
Seems like a winning formula,
 as to celebrating adversity
So keep working hard, keep being the best you can,
Keep the faith, the desire, to represent your master plan,
I’ll just leave you with this,
‘Pussy’  ‘Skinny’ ‘Fat’  are words that can bury
And if you’re an Icon, then know your words can be to those that never want to fight in a playground,
Very , very , scarey….


Posted: January 22, 2016 in Uncategorized


I will premise this by simply saying, no offence intended.

Any open minded person, philosophical soul, ‘curious cat’, will travel this freely, any pre programmed, selfish, unable to share ‘fraudian’ ‘I donate to charity’ justifier….

May struggle a  little…..and that is accepted, for after all…I’m charitable….

So let’s travel…..

Let’s accept for brevity, the ‘who’ that controls us…….as an acceptance…and if you’re unsure..just search           Rothchild,        and I’ll see you in the next life ok…

however, I’m more interested in the  How


How did, the very rules that were set down by the  ‘powers’ of secularism, ever get off the ground in a judicial court……?

Every witness is asked to ‘swear an oath upon a bible’ or to swear an oath of some sort if not so pre disposed…

And anyone, that’s ever had the privilege of gracing a court room, should enquire as to why, all witnesses must decree an oath to a deity, when the witness themselves, have not witnessed, any of their representatives, or the Judge themselves, decree the same oath…in unison…with the witness….

Just observing…

Alas, one  digresses….

Surely by complying to the rules of such a system, where decreeing,/swearing  upon a book, is evidential of one being disposed to being held accountable to truth….is questionable indeed,

if the the premise posits, that the one that swears is being truthful by ‘their rules’……as if it is ‘evidential…


So if a ‘defendant’ chooses to ‘swear upon the good book’    and then asks the Judge, can he/she prove the existence of God……would it also be fair, to posit, that all evidence presented,  is based upon belief…?

And therefore


Not guilty your Honour.




I offer this in all respect, and gratitude, of all that have followed this blog, this ‘anonymous’  Voice. As I declared from the outset, tis not who the writer may be, but how the words  live,,,,,,,

Enjoy at your leisure my friends, and thank you for travelling with this Voice…..

May your Matilda Awake…..:)  xxx

Foreword by PROF. DENIS RYAN


Prose , Songs and Musings


Kevin F. Quarrell


Foreword by Prof. Denis Ryan

Edited by: Damian Brett

Published by: Matilda Counselling Services

Copyright Notification

Title: Matilda Awakening

Subtitle: Prose, Songs and Musings

Author: Kevin F. Quarrell

Published by:

Matilda Counselling Services



County Kilkenny.

Republic of Ireland.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means,performance,broadcasting, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or by any information storage and retrieval system, without written permission from the author,

except for the inclusion of brief quotations in a review. All public or professional usage must be referred back to the Author.

Copyright © 2010 by Kevin F. Quarrell

First Edition, 2010

Self Published in the Republic of Ireland, Australia, United States of America, and the United Kingdom.



These works are dedicated to those people that have experienced life in all its forms, and have still managed to carry on. You know who you are, and yes, maybe, just maybe, it was worth it all.

It is for any lover of the written word, and for anyone that ever wanted to have their voice heard,

We all have experience; and an internal desire to share our thoughts

It is to you, through your sharing, that I become alive,

And it is through your time in reading these works that I feel my heart has been seen.

And through this, I experience my

Matlida Awakening.


Kevin F. Quarrell




“Shoot straight you bastards. Don’t make a mess of it”.



Harry (Breaker) Morant

_____Executed soldier and poet

Matilda Awakening

Prose, Songs and Musings by Kevin F. Quarrell

Table of Contents

Title page………………………………………………………………………………………………i

Copyright Notification…………………………………………………………………………….ii



Table of Contents…………………………………………………………………………………….v

About the Author…………………………………………………………………………………….vii



Glossary of terms………………………………………………………………………………………x


How Beautiful You Are………………………………………………………………….1

The Who Is He Man………………………………………………………………………4

When The Tide Rolls In………………………………………………………………….7

Vote For Me…………………………………………………………………………………8

Prospecting The Truth…………………………………………………………………..10

The Dentist………………………………………………………………………………….13

An Exercise In R.E.B.T……………………………………………………………………17

The Number 4……………………………………………………………………………..19

Wishful Thinking………………………………………………………………………….20

The Desperate Client……………………………………………………………………22

In Memory of Packie Peters………………………………………………………….24

What Does It Mean To Be An Australian…………………………………………25

The Letter From A Childhood Sweetheart That Time Could Not Forget.31

Philosophy by Llerrauq Nivek………………………………………………………..34

Three Wishes………………………………………………………………………………37

Nag, Nag, Nag……………………………………………………………………………..42

Little Child………………………………………………………………………………….44

The Shearer’s Yarn………………………………………………………………………45

Ol’ Man Walking…………………………………………………………………………55

The Institution……………………………………………………………………………57

Philosophy Book 2 by Llerrauq Nivek…………………………………………….58

Inside My Mind…………………………………………………………………………..61

The Recollection…………………………………………………………………………65

The Songcatcher…………………………………………………………………………67

A Christmas Reflection………………………………………………………………..71

Ruby, Ruby,………………………………………………………………………………..73


Tomorrow Is Just A Breath Away………………………………………………….75

When You Are Near……………………………………………………………………76

Hello Mr. Butterfly……………………………………………………………………..78

Is It?………………………………………………………………………………………….80

Never Meet Your Hero………………………………………………………………..82

Another Year……………………………………………………………………………..84


It Feels Like Sunshine………………………………………………………………….86


Philosophy Book 3 by Llerrauq Nivek…………………………………………….88



Kevin Francis Quarrell was born in 1964 in the bay side city of Geelong, Victoria, Australia. He is the second youngest of six children, and spent his childhood days dreaming as most kids do. He first began poetry and song writing at the age of nine and has continued to explore both crafts ever since.

At the age of twenty one he quit his job as a carpenter to pursue his dream of discovering his homeland of Australia, and it is upon these travels that his love of culture was instilled. His love of the Northern Territories brought him back to the tropics where he met an Irish girl that was soon to become his wife.

They resettled in the Republic of Ireland in 1992 and have two children. In 1998 whilst working on a building site, he was nearly killed in an industrial accident, and this was soon to place a strain on his marriage, and as a consequence he became separated from his wife. He continues to reside in Ireland.

He needed to re asses his life and now works in the field of counselling where he holds a B.A Hons Degree in Counselling and Psychotherapy.

It is through this work that he now tries to help other people find a way to discover their Matilda Awakening.






To Ms. Elizabeth Kett. None of what I have achieved today could have been possible without you in my life. I hope the words in this book can be a testament to you and show others what can be achieved through a simple act of kindness. Thank you for allowing me to swim in you.

To my lovely beautiful children, Jack and Sally, you drive me on, and I drive you mad, but hopefully one day you will understand that we all must drive toward our dreams.

To Professor Denis Ryan, thank you for your kind words and putting your name to this book.

To Mr. Damian Brett, your capacity for semantics has been invaluable, a comma, a colon, to you.

To Mr. Charlie McGettigan, a chance meeting has borne many fruits since, being witnessed and heard cannot be underestimated, and to be inspired by such an accomplished writer is my absolute privilege.

To the people that these works are about, thank you for allowing my heart a way to express my feelings.

To Mum, Brian, Tony, Mick, Jen, and Bill. Soon we shall share the broken bread again around the one table.

And finally, to Mrs. Avis Quarrell, my great aunt. May your legacy live on through many and may I do justice as one of its anointed carriers.



This book is a collection of prose, songs and musings by the author.

All works are entirely original and resemblance to the works of other writers, journalists, academics or performers is purely co-incidental.

Every effort has been made to ensure that this book has been proof read and edited to an acceptable standard. However, any typographical errors that may occur shall be deemed, non malicious and accidental, and furthermore cannot be held as the responsibility of the author.

None of the works in this book have been plagiarised, and in the event of any similarity to other works, or accusation therein, legal advice will be taken on behalf of the author in order to protect intellectual property rights and creative integrity

The book is for entertainment and educational purposes only. The author and publisher shall have neither liability nor responsibility to any person or entity with respect to any loss, damage, or offence caused, or alleged to have been caused, directly or indirectly, by the content contained in this book

If you do not wish to be bound by the above disclaimer, you may return this book to the publisher for a full refund.
















The following glossary of terms are contextualised to the authors works. On occasion these terms may be found to have other meanings. The definitions that follow are given to assist the reader in better understanding their usage within the text. Any ambiguity or misinterpretation is entirely unintended and accidental.

Canyons: A ravine, usually formed by rivers or rainfall over millennia. Ordinarily, dry and accessible by foot.

Gorges: A ravine which is essentially a canyon with a river flowing through it.

Golden Rule: A rule deemed more important than most.

Dixie’s scent: Refers to the air of the land of Dixie. A farm land where my father was reared.

Terang: A country town in rural western Victoria. Australia.

Redback: A small spider of the widow family. Deadly and venomous. Similar in appearance to the black widow of America, however it is native to Australia. It is distinguished by a flaming red streak displayed upon its abdomen.

Eucalypt: A native tree to Australia.

Walscott: A reference to a street name.

Giddings: A reference to a street name.

Khaki: A colour associated with work or military uniforms. It is usually referred to as being a hybrid of yellow and brown, thus forming a ‘burnt’ looking green.

Hat of the sunburnt ear: Refers to the Military ‘slouch’ hat worn by Australian servicemen. The left hand brim side of the hat was pinned upwards to the main body of the hat with the badge of the Anzac soldier. Thus giving a brim up, brim down appearance and potentially causing one sunburnt ear. This look was adopted by the Anzacs to distinguish themselves from other allied nations.

Present arms: In this context the term is used to call for volunteers to the services.

Fluke of birth: Refers to the lottery that was used to conscript Australian soldiers to the Vietnam war. Servicemen were conscripted by their date of birth.

Cats: The Geelong Football Club. A founding club of the Australian Football League. The mascot of the club is the cat.

Pavarotti: A world renowned Tenor.

Corryong: A rural town in Northern Victoria. Australia.

Boort: A rural town in Midland Victoria. Australia.

Camperdown: A rural town in rural western Victoria. Australia.

Hume’s pipe: A two metre concrete pipe stituated on a stand two metres above ground level. It was the symbol of the Hume’s pipe factory wish we used to play in when we were kids.

Kokodo’s track: A jungle track in New Guinea which claimed the life of many Australian servicemen during the second world war. It has now become a tourist destination for the more then adventurous tourist.

Ruck rover: A player in an Australian Rules Football team

Black and whites: The colours of the Guernsey of many Aussie Rules teams. Vertical stripes of black and white.

Kamikaze: The Japanese fighter pilots that sacrificed their lives in combat rather than surrender.

Rabble: Generally refers to a disorderly group of people.

Up sped: A play on words in order to rhyme. Sped up is the context.

Blue shirts: Refers to the Fine Gael political party of Ireland. Known as the ‘blue shirts’ since the foundation of the state.

Greens: The universal terms used to describe the Green Party in politics.

Left wing pinkos: A term used by Mr. Charlie McCreevy of Fianna Fail in Irish politics. Essentially it was referring to any one in opposition to his policies as a governing finance minister. A derogatory terms not dissimilar to ‘bleeding hearts’ or ‘do gooders’.

Wet behind the ears: Refers to enthusiastic people who may not have yet gained the gift of wisdom.

Prospecting: A mining term that depicts the endeavours of a freelance miner.

Terranian: A word of poetic license. It means of land, terrestrial.

Mother lode: The ultimate find for any prospector.

Midas: The Greek king of Phrygia. Bestowed with the power to turn everything to gold by a simple touch.

Smite: To cause pain or affect deep feeling.

Halitosis: Bad breath

Interred: Imprisonment of an individual without trial for the protection of society

Family jewels: A slang term referring to the testicles of a man.

REBT: Rational Emotive Behavioural Therapy. An approach used in psychotherapy founded on the works of Dr. Albert Ellis

Maradonna: Argentinean soccer player regarded as one of the best to ever have played the game

Madonna: Female pop artist that liked to court controversy.

Madonna: Religiuos Icon. The mother of Jesus Christ. The spiritual and universal mother to many.

Chesney Hawkes: Pop star.

Togs out: Refers to putting on the colours of your team.

Lionel Ritchie: Black American pop and soul singer.

OCD: Obsessive compulsive disorder.

Freud: Sigmund Freud. The father of psychoanalytic therapy.

Rogers: Karl Rogers. The creator of Humanistic therapy.

Perls: Fritz Perls. The originator of Gestalt therapy.

Travolta: This refers to John Travolta, American actor, who made his breakthrough in Saturday Night Fever, a movie about disco dancing.

Down Under: An affectionate term for Australia.

Skink: A small slender harmless lizard.

Gecko: A lizard found in the tropics, and very at home on household ceilings.

Cricket: A black grasshopper that emanates a sound like a whistling purring cat at night time.

Cicada: An stout bodied insect that likes to live in trees. Their drone is usually heard in the afternoon sun before sunset and is symphonic at times.

Wattle: The botanical emblem of Australia. To my understanding its botanical family is the Acacia. It colours are green and gold and are represented as the colours of any Australian sporting team.

Indelible: Permanent, cannot be removed or erased.

Paterson: Andrew Barton’Banjo’ Paterson. Author of ‘Waltzing Matilda’ which is accepted by many Australians as their unofficial national anthem.

Jackie Howe: A shearer from the 1800’s. Unless I’m mistaken he still holds the record for the most amount of sheep shorn in a day using hand shears. This stands at 321 sheep. The traditional navy blue singlet that was worn by the shearer, is affectionately known as a ‘Jackie Howe’

Matilda: ‘Banjo’ Paterson coined the phrase: ‘Who’ll come a waltzing Matilda with me’. A ‘matilda’ refers to the ‘swag’ or the belongings of the swagman. The bushman traveller. I see the term as a symbol of one’s life, and find myself frequently using it in this context. If you were to look into my swag, my belongings, you would see my life. Therefore I see Matilda as meaning life.

Eden: The biblical garden where all of life began.

The dreaming: The Aboriginal spiritual force.

Billabong: A pool of water, usually caused by the overflowing of a river or stream. A kind of inland lagoon whose life source is from a nearby flowing river.

Fair dinkum: An Australian slang term, it means Is that true?

G’day: Australian slang for Good Day, or Hello.

Have a go: Usually pronounced, ‘Aveago’. It is the core principal of Australian culture. It embodies its history, its present and its future. It basically states, Don’t worry if you get it wrong, or if you’re afraid, just try anyway. To not’have a go’ is an anathema to the true Aussie.

Lest we forget: The last line of the returned soldiers prayer.

Anzac: This is an acronym. It represents the Australian and New Zealand Army Corps.

Southern cross: The dominant constellation in the southern hemisphere. Represented on the Australian flag.

Melbourne cup: The biggest horse race in Australia, held on the first Tuesday of November.

Lawson: Henry Lawson, along with Paterson, one of Australia’s finest wordsmiths.

Simpson and Donkey: Simpson and his Donkey are revered in Australian history, They risked their lives and placed themselves in peril in order to rescue fallen and injured soldiers in the battlefields of World War one.

Tiger snake: One of many venomous snakes in Australia and at times a little bit too social in rural communities.

Roo: An abbreviated form of Kangaroo.

Rules: A slang term meaning Australian Rules Football.

High bloody horse: A position referred to as a person being on a bit of a rant or taking the high moral ground in a conversation.

Mcdowell Stuart: One of Australia’s early pioneers. The Stuart highway which travels from south to north in central Australia is named after him. This highway is over 3000 klm’s long and follows his pioneer trail.

Blackfella: A colloquial term used in northern Australia that refers to an aborigine. In my experience in the North this was not an offensive word, moreover a part of acceptable language. The white population were referred to as whitefella. In the southern states of Australia the use of the term ‘blackfella’ may be seen as derogatory.

Anneas Gunn: The female author of ‘We of the Never Never.’ Anneas ‘Jeannie’ Gunn was one the outback’s first ladies. Her book documents life in a hostile environment that was predominantly occupied by pioneers and frontiersmen. The place known as the Never Never is an area now known as Mataranka Homestead. She coined this phrase as a way of saying that this land, this place, casts a spell and you never, never, want to leave.

Never never land: Refer to Anneas Gunn

Monkey Mia: A bay on the coast of outback Western Australia where dolphins will swim amongst swimmers, completely naturally.

Gagadju Bill: A custodian of the national park known as Kakadu in the Northern Territory of Australia. Unfortunately he is now deceased. Gagadju is the aboriginal pronunciation of the anglicised word Kakadu. I met him once by pure chance, what a moment, what a privilege.

Uluru: The largest monolith in the world situated in central Australia. An aboriginal sacred site. Formerly known as Ayers rock.

Sheila: A colloquial term used by Australians to describe a woman. My understanding is that it stems from the convict days when many women that arrived to Australia were named Sheila. This then became an affectionate  way of describing a woman that you didn’t know the name of.

Pome: A Pome in the modern day is an Australians way of referring to anybody that comes from England. There is some debate as to its origin, however it’s posited that Pome is derived from the print on the convict shirt which bore the letters P.O.M.E.  This was meant to label the convict as Prisoner Of Mother England.

Bairn: A Gaelic or Scottish word that refers to children.

Poppies: A perennial flower that grows tall compared to its stem. Successful Australians often lament the ‘tall poppy’ syndrome which refers to anyone that is perceived to be achieving and forgetting their roots.

Lonsdale’s point: Point Lonsdale is a seaside town that swells with summer visitors. A beautiful location that graces Port Phillip bay on the Victorian seaboard.

Colac: A rural town in the western district of Victoria. A hub to many of the satellite towns and villages.

St Helens strand: An idyllic beach within the city of Geelong. Victoria. Australia.

Fidelity Hall. A small hall in the city of Geelong, which I believe was originally used for trade union meetings.

Kookaburra: Native Australian bird that is part of the kingfisher family. Known for its call, which is affectionately referred to as the ‘Kookaburra Laugh’. The Kookaburra stands around 25 cms tall and there are two varieties. The most common being the brown, yet in the northern climes there is a blue wing variety which is stunning to behold in flight.

Kimberley’s range: A rocky mountain range that resembles an escarpment in places. Situated in the tropics of western Australia, sometimes it is the only company you will have on a long outback drive.

Dreamtime: The essence of Aboriginal culture. It is earthen and spiritual. To call it a religion would be disingenuous. However this metaphor may be the best way to help others to understand. My interpretation of the Dreamtime is that it is omnipresent. It is a higher power and we are always connected to it. It is a giving spirituality that offers fruits on your journey in life and comfort in the crossing to the dreaming It is a teaching, a learning, and a being, all in one.

Llerrauq Nivek: A pseudonym. He purports to be a much misunderstood antipodean philosopher, one of his favourite expressions is; ‘if you take time to reflect, you will find the answer’.

Niggers: A word that is usually used in derogatory terms toward African American by non black people.. Its origin stems from the word Negro. It is considered highly offensive to use this word in the era of the new twenty first century. It’s usage here is meant to cause no offence in its context.

Honkies: A word that is usually used in derogatory terms toward white Anglo People by predominantly African Americans. I am not sure of its origins but I offer an understanding that it has something to do with the Honky Tonk bars run by whites and exploitation of black musicians in particular occurred. I am open to correction on this.

Guiness: The Traditional Stout brewed in Ireland.

Ronan keating: Pop Artist.

Kerry Blue: A Terrier Dog that has a jet black tight wired coat. In certain light it’s coat will shine blue.

Ipod: Device for holding and replaying electronic music files.

Doggy bag: Traditionally known in restaurant circles as a bag that contained unfinished portions of meals that patrons would treat their family pet with.. In the context of this song, it is his dinner and he can go and eat it outside because he was late home.

Wag: Early twenty first century term describing the partners of wealthy footballers. Wives And Girlfriends.

Lid: This refers to a hat, as in, something that you place on top. So as a shearer you always needed a ‘lid’ to protect yourself from the sun.

Jumbuck: Australian slang for sheep. Origins unknown.

Deck: The floor where all shearing activity took place.

Not to shabby: Slang for, a reasonable effort or standard.

Tar boy: A young boy, too young to shear, that would apply tar to a sheep that had incurred a cut. This was believed to quicken healing and reduce contamination of the wool.

Critter: A generic slang word to describe any animal form of nature, although some humans are not spared this moniker at times.

Squatter: A land owner.

Bludgers: A layabout, a taker and not a giver,

Tally man: The man employed by the squatter to calculate work done in order to calculate wages earned.

Dung. Dried animal poo.

Gun: In this context a ‘gun’ refers to a ‘gun shearer’. This is a term that generally describes anyone that can shear more than two hundred and fifty sheep in one day using hand cutters

Dunny: An Australian word for toilet. Traditionally it was an outside toilet.

Moonshine: Any form of illegal alcohol.

Black cigarettes: Illegal tobacco.

Three score and ten: A measurement once used in times past. Equivalent to seventy. Still found in modern day poetry

Oxymoron: A phrase or word that is contradictory. E.g. ‘deafening silence’

Usain Bolt: The fastest man to run the 100 metre sprint.

Mona Lisa: World renowned painting by Leonardo Da Vinci.

Eiffel Tower: Famous Parisian Landmark.

Rubik’s Cube: A puzzle game that swept the world in the 1980’s.

Dalai Lama: Tibetan Sage. Purported to be chosen by the Gods and to hold many of the wisdoms of all men.

Darwin: Charles Darwin. Scientist and founder of the theory of evolution by natural selection.

Bungee: An elasticised rope.

Chippie: Australian slang for a carpenter.

Brickie: Australian slang for a bricklayer.

Spark: Australian slang for an electrician.

Songcatcher: A word that came about from a conversation with my brother. It describes the kind of people that take interest in retelling history or events. Some people create an experience and some people record the experience, some people do their best to retell a memory, the song catcher will share the experience as close to truth as possible.

Ya: Generic term for You.

Caracticus: King Caracticus. A really enjoyable, playful song by Rolf Harris. A quintessential Australian.

Apoplexy: a result of lack of oxygen to the brain.

Craic: An Irish word used to define fun of the highest order.

Tuesday’s Child: This is a reference to the song by the Rolling Stones. Goodbye Ruby Tuesday.


How can I say that you’re beautiful?

What words or deeds can fit the bill?

Is it my smile whilst in your company

or is it some love magic inducing pill

That lets you know I mean what I say,

And that it can only ever be the fool,

Who can’t see that nature itself even knows, just how beautiful are you.

Is it possible that I have grown blind

thru the time travelled year upon year

Or do the rose tinted glasses that I wear

show everything so clear

Do I long for you still, because I’m on my own now,

or do I long for you from a heart that’s true,

Only you will judge these words that I write that say how beautiful are you,

I’ve crossed the globe and seen the world,

been lucky even when my luck seemed out,

I’ve seen nature display like a peacock in spring,

and have not thirsted within its drought.

And of all the canyons, gorges, rivers and seas,

of the great desert under the dome of blue,

Beautiful as they surely may be, they are only a reflection of you.

How can I say how beautiful you are?

It’s like asking how long is a piece of string,

Of all the words in this language we know,

you’d think I could find one to describe what I’m feeling,

Pretty, kind, funny and sexy,

yes they are accurate,

but still not quite the tool,

That can explain to you how much I think that you are so beautiful,

Perhaps beauty is just there,

like a testament to the simplicity of existence,

It’s about being in the presence of something

that drives us all to sing and laugh and dance,

It remembers you, even when you don’t,

and it never seeks a toll,

It can’t be bought or traded or copied, it belongs to the heart and the soul,

So somehow, I guess I’m trying to say,

That I don’t know much about the golden rule,

All I know, is I recognise ,

When something is beautiful,

So I offer you this, as best as I can,

Think of me as a night time star,

Look up and remember me,

In the universe,

Still searching for words,

That describe

How beautiful you are.

With love always,

Kev. Xxxxx   16/05/2010


A tribute to Brian Lindsay Quarrell  30/10/09

By Kev Quarrell

  1. Born of simple folk in the post war years, where Dixie’s scent would occasionally blow by,

A western boy with the blood of Terang, where his ancestor’s bones and his childhood still lie.

A place where shearin’ men could still be found, where soldiers returned to still build their nation,

A redback in the woodpile, the eucalypt, the open Aussie air, were his formation and foundation.

  1. Then a move when young, to the suburban working class, where houses are lined in the street,

It became the home of the ‘who is he? man.’ And he quickly found his feet.

He’s lived in Walscott, and lived in Giddings, where the magpies always sang

Where he chipped his tooth on the backyard step, and he spilt the blood of a boy from Terang.

  1. He grew to be a lovely boy,……. according to his mum, but my memory of him as a man I know had barely just begun.

For just as he reached maturity, I had just learnt to walk, and I suspect he held me when I cried, and he probably watched me like a hawk.

  1. But there’s a photo of this ‘who is he man?’ that will speak more words than mine,

It’s a photo of when he was full of character and life, of a young man in his prime.

A khaki uniform, worn of many great men, with the hat of the sunburnt ear,

Just a smile that said,” You can count on me, today, tomorrow, and next year”.

  1. Then the call came to present arms, and only by fluke of birth, did this ‘who is he man’ stay at home, whilst friends and comrades left this earth.

But he soldiered on within that void, where that song of gratitude and sorrow rang,

And he carried himself, with a dignity that flows deep in the blood of a man from Terang.

  1. So from his Service days and Hippy ways he went on to build a career,

I suppose that’s the bloody reason why for the ‘who is he man’ we’re here.

He gettin’ on, his hair’s all gone, and if he smoked can you imagine how short he would be?

And he yells for the Cats like ten men would, like a student of  Pavarotti.

  1. From Koriyong to Boort, to Camperdown, and all the way to New Guinea and back,

From falling out of Hume’s pipe, to completing Kokodo’s Track.

When taking a role in a country play, he was never a shrinking violet,

And as a ruck rover for the black and whites he was like a Kamikaze pilot.

  1. So, who is he? This ‘who is he man’. The aforementioned words don’t really suffice

No, they’re, just a sample, or an attempt to describe, so let me give you this advice.

This man is where he is today because he has a quality that you cannot buy,

He has faced challenges that would paralyse us all, but he refused to lay down and lie.

  1. Who is he? This who is he man. Well in conclusion this is what I offer,

He’s the kind of man that holds you near, that helps others to help people proffer,

He seeks no gain, above his fellow man; moreover he’s like no other,

He’s a friend, and I’m one in five,

that is proud to call him my brother.

WHEN THE TIDE ROLLS IN                    by Kev Quarrell               27/05/09

Sittin’ on the beach as the tide rolls in, Soakin’ up the sun, and just feelin’

There’s no place I would rather be

The warmth of the sand, the fresh sea breeze, Holding your hand, feelin’ at ease,

Oh, How I wish everyday could be, like a day by the sea.


Skippin’ stones, laughin’ and talking, the sound of the surf and sea gulls squawking

Oh, it’s the best feelin’ that’s ever been,

A seaside kiss, a warm embrace, the white water making it a magical place

I just wanna be there with you, I just wanna be there with you,

Oh yeah, I wanna be there with you, when the tide rolls in.

Sharing time, being with each other, the shoreline calling like a long lost lover,

There’s no place I’d rather be,

Feeling the calm and tranquillity, feeling the warmth of your beauty,

Oh How I wish everyday could be, like a day by the sea,


Skippin’ stones, laughin’ and talking, the sound of the surf and sea gulls squawking

Oh, it’s the best feelin’ that’s ever been,

A seaside kiss, a warm embrace, the white water making it a magical place

I just wanna be there with you, I just wanna be there with you,

Oh yeah, I wanna be there with you, when the tide rolls in.

BRIDGE ( and a very poor one at that) (sample from I can see clearly now)

Look all around you nothing but blue skies,

Look all around you nothing but Blues skies,


VOTE FOR ME      by Kev Quarrell    27/05/09

You know who I am, I’m the government man,

I’m your local representative, that’s who I am.

I’m your foot in the door to the master plan,

Vote for me.

I listen to your trials and your tribulations,

I hear your complaint about the state of the nation,

There’s only one way to rid this infestation,

Vote for me.


 I am the man who will bring you the party plan,

You will benefit if you just trust my integrity,

All the men and the women in the opposition,

Should be held to account by an inquisition,

They’re a rabble, they’re a fraud,

They’re hopeless, there a hoax

Vote for me.

I know that you mother doesn’t have a bed, she’s lying on a trolley with a fractured head,

If you want this situation to be up sped

Vote for me

The opposition policy of previous times has left this lovely country so far behind,

My party and I, will see this refined,

Vote for me,


You sit in your car in a traffic jam, too many hours to work and back home again,

This was all created by the previous man,

Vote for me

Your opinion of this government, is sadly misplaced, you know our intent,

My party, and I, are 100 percent,

So vote for me


I know I promised you a bed for your health,

Low income taxes, the rest by stealth,

The system is designed to generate my wealth

Vote for me,

I don’t give a damn about the social tension,

No tribunal in the land will ever catch my indiscretion

I’m only in this game for my minister’s pension,

Vote for me.

……they’re a rabble, they’re a fraud, they’re hopeless, they’re a hoax, they’re blue shirts, they’re greens, they’re left wing pinko’s, they’re wet behind the ears, they haven’t got a hope,

Vote for me, vote for me, vote for me……..Vote for me!!!!




Well I just try to skip and jump, and I always come down with a thump,

And I can never figure out why the clock is always reading 4 a.m.

And I try to go to bed with all the thoughts I have in my head,

But I just can’t help it,

It’s just the way I am.


Walking innocently through the forever winding roads of life,

I arrived at a stop sign, or is it more of a road block, perhaps a detour, To be honest it seems more like a calling, a seduction, a promise of serenity,

Like a terrainean mermaid’s siren beckoning me to her breast.


The valleys and vales that have welcomed and challenged me, in equal measure,

Have been but just mere obstacles and occasional refuge on my journey,

As I prospect for the truth,

My prospecting, never focused, nor deliberate, but always curious,

Has revealed many gems, and a thousand more disappointments and false dawns,


One hundred failings can only fulfil the belief that the mother lode is nearby,

Just under the surface, or midway on the rise of the valley,

Lying peacefully undisturbed like the beauty waiting for the princely kiss, she lies there

Waiting in anticipation, to give the touch bestowed upon her, by Midas,

Upon my life.


Prospecting for the truth, becomes a tragic, obsessive pursuit, that can render me blind and weary,

And smite my senses to the very presence of the miner’s grail,

The idiocy that prevails in determination, serves only to highlight the capacity of the fool and not the perseverance of the man,


For he would be alive to the knowing through experience, tribulations, triumphs and travails,

If he were not so consumed with the prospecting, as to the prospect

Of the truth.


And yet she lies there, in tranquillity, ready to blossom as the eternal poppy, ready to flower  as only beauty can,

For she is the truth in all its form.

Alas she is caged and cannot be free until the prospector finds her,

For only then will she live and only then will he have found an end to his searching,


When my eyes opened, when my heart held the rhythm of the land,

When my ears heard only the siren of angel,

And my feet could not move,

I found myself at this stop sign,

You were there, before me, I was captivated, spellbound,

Like a drunken sailor I couldn’t resist the allure,

And as a prospector I knew its worth,

I offer you my kiss, and although I am not royal, I feel as a king amongst men,

And as you break free from your cage, I will lay my shovel down,

And prospect no more,

For I have seen and found the truth

In you.

By Kev Quarrell 10/05/09


Original poem by Kev Quarrell   16/06/09

Well I woke up in the morning, with an aching wisdom tooth,

And my wisdom told me, that I had to take, the dreaded route,

To my local dental clinic; which I had avoided for twenty years

And if I recall my last experience, I’m still reduced to tears.

I was thirteen years of age, and I was dragged there by my dear ol’ mum,

The plaque upon the door said; Dr. Blood. Dental Surgeon.

He had wispy hair growing in his ears, and halitosis to beat the band,

A cold sore on his lip and a festering wart on his left hand.

He said, “Come in, Come in, sit up in the chair, let me take a look in your mouth,

His eyes were like a compass, one looking east, one looking south,

And as he reached for the hypodermic needle, I saw the blood stains on his shirt,

He smiled a grin, like a fox does rabbit, saying, “Relax, now, this won’t hurt”

That needle went in, and went in, and went in, it felt like the pain would never end,

Dr Blood said, “Oh I’m sorry, I’ve missed the spot, I’ll have to do that all again”

I took a drink to rinse my mouth of the overshot anaesthetic,

And in the cup, was someone’s teeth, and I proceeded to be sick.

“Oh me oh my”, said that dental disaster, “not another patient feeling ill,”

“Don’t worry, I’ll clean it up in a minute, now lie back again if you will.”

Well the smell was just horrendous, and that was just from his breath

Five minutes in his dentist chair, was less preferable to death.

He stuck me once, he stuck me twice, and on the sixth attempt he got it right,

I was a thirteen year old pin cushion that was strapped in good and tight,

My mouth went numb, and then my ears, and then my fingers and toes

He said “You should be feeling numb now” as a sneeze escaped his nose.

He reached across for the drill, and the life drained out of me,

We were about to dance the dance of ages to the dental symphony.

My knees began to rattle; my temples began to pound,

My heart skipped a beat or two as I heard that dreaded sound.

The drill went ‘zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz’, I went, uuuuuuurrrrrrgggghhhh, he said “Relax, this won’t hurt a bit!!”

The drill continued on,  zzzzzzz, zzzzzzz,  zzzzzz, I mumbled, “ I tpink  ur a Lubatic!” ( I think you’re a lunatic in numbed mouth speak)

“Dr. Blood, please stop, I tried to yell, “Please stop” I tried to blurt,

“Just sit back and try to relax young man, I promise you this won’t hurt!”

“So are you going anywhere for your holidays?” he asked, and I answered uuuurrrgh and aaarghhh,

“Did you see the game the other night?”    This guy is a loo lah!

Mmmmmm, I see, yes, uh huh, that’s right,    I haven’t even said a word.

If I had the law upon my side I’d have this nut interred!

Then I heard those words, those sweet, sweet words, I thought would never come.

“You’re a great boy, and very brave, I think that we are done”

“Sit up, take a rinse, and when you’re feeling ok, give me a sign,

And I’ll strap you back into the chair, and do the other nine!”

Well I had been put through the pain barrier, as if it was the barrier of sound,

And nine more times with this butcher would not see me hanging round

So I grabbed him by the family jewels as if my life depended on it,

And said “Relax; now Dr. Blood, this won’t hurt a bit!!!”

His southern eye headed north, his eastern eye had gone west,

His cold sore burst a blood vessel, and he was looking all distressed,

I told him we were finished now, and as my grip tightened to stress my view,

And he said “Mmmmm, uh huh, I see, that’s right.” And I disappeared from view.

And so twenty years on I make the trek, to the scene of trauma passed,

And the pain in my wisdom tooth has brought, the memories back so fast.

Now Dr. Blood, has long retired, but alas, I’m still driven completely insane,

For the plaque upon the door today reads; Surgeon. Dr. Payne.!!!!



The following is a transcript of an exchange between a therapist and a young man named John. The therapist is Eggbert Allis, the inspiration behind the development of REBT.

John: “Good morning Dr. Allis.”

Eggbert: “Is it?”

John: “Well I think it is….”

Eggbert: “ You think it is? What makes you think it is a good morning? Where is the evidence?”

John: “Well…I …er….the sun is shining, I’m here on time, and I am here to work through some of my problems…”

Eggbert: “That seems rational enough. Yes the sun is shining, you are here on time, and you are in the right place to work through some of your problems. So all in all, it appears to be a good morning.”

John: “Er, yes.”

Eggbert: “So what is your problem John?”

John: “My father..”

Eggbert: “Your father? Or is it your relationship with your father?”

John: “Well, it could be both; you see my father never seems to give me enough time.”

Eggbert: “Is it your father or is it time that is the problem?”

John: “I see,….maybe it’s time…”

Eggbert: “But surely you have as much time as anybody else, so why is this a problem for you?”

John: “ I know I have time, but I want to spend more of this with my father….I need to communicate with him, let him know what is going on in my life, seek his wisdom, just have fun together and so on…..but ……he is always so busy with his work.”

Eggbert: “Have you tried talking to him?”

John: “I have, but he just asks me questions all the time and doesn’t let me say what I want to say.”

Eggbert: “So you do spend time with him then?”

John: “Well,…er….yes,….I suppose I do.”

Eggbert: “If he is so busy, working to make a living, provide for his family, to pay the bills etc, why should he neglect all this responsibility just to spend more time with you?”

John: “I see what you mean.”

Eggbert: “Maybe you should make an appointment to see him, contribute to his time instead of taking from it.”

John: “Yes, yes, I think I could do that; that sounds like a good idea.”

Eggbert: “I’m am sure if you were to pay for his time you would view the time you have for free with him in another light, don’t you?”

John: “Yes, I can see what you mean. I think I can work with that Dr. Allis, thankyou.”

Eggbert: “Not at all. You have done good work today John. Come back next week and let me know how things have progressed.”

John: “O.K. I will…….. Thanks Dad!!!!!”

N.B. This is a humorous take on a session of REBT. It includes elements of the ABC model by identifying the problem, acknowledging rational beliefs, indentifying and disputing irrational beliefs and setting of homework through an active directive dictate by the therapist. Although this may appear flippant I believe it to be an accurate example of how Albert Ellis believed humour could sometimes demystify the way we perceive certain situations. I was encouraged to submit this piece by my lecturer.


The number 4, the jersey worn, of many a player on the field,

The number 4, that says defence, has your back and won’t ever yield,

The number 4 asks you only one question, and that is, to try your best,

Our number 4 is our first to leave, and so we lay this jersey to rest.


Let the numbers worn from one to ten, or twenty, or whatever your number may be,

Remember the number 4 of our son, brother and friend, the man called the ‘one and only’.

To claim him as our Maradonna  would be travesty to folklore,

For his moves belonged more to Madonna, and Chesney Hawkes, did our beloved number 4.


But remember this; no club can ever be a team, without a number 4 that togs out and turns up,

A number 4 that knows every loss and win, every medal and every cup,

A number 4 that is there with you, training in the mud and cold and rain,

A number 4, that’s shared your laughs, and stood by you in your pain,.


So today one of our numbers has kicked his last ball,

And will play the game no more,

Let every game, this club ever plays,

Remember our number 4.

By Kev Quarrell   24/04/2010

In memory of Mr. Patrick ‘Packie’ Peters R.I.P.

In Memory of Packie Peters.

I want to heal the pain,

Take away the darkness near.

And although I know that sometimes I lose,

 and other times I gain,

My strength can’t overcome the fear,


I want to feel the laughter,

Take away the tears I cry,

And although I know there’s a here and now,

 and a happy ever after,

My will to live can’t overcome, my will to say goodbye,

Sleep easy tonight, and rest your soul

For my soul now sits easy and I’m in peace,

The darkness has gone from my life now

And I rest in heavens arms with ease

Let no search for answers or the pursuit of why

Be the harbour for sadness to sing,

Just let it be,

 and know that I’ll return to you,

In every daffodil,

 in every spring.

By Kev Quarrell 22/04/10

God bless Packie, May you rest in peace.



Apparently I’ve got OCD, I’m manic and depressed,

All my problems, if you talk to Freud, are sexual and repressed.

Rogers would stay there with me, exploring why I feel rejected,

And Perls would have me ‘talk to a chair’, and they say I’m the one affected!

With the therapist, I umm and aaah, my body language like a mime,

My attempts to transfer my problems are rebuffed each and every time,

I’m adult, I’m child, I’m parent, my past becomes the here and now,

I’m more confused than I ever was; I wasn’t looking for ‘why’ and ‘how’.

I dance around my issues like Travolta on Saturday night,

I fidget with my hair and hands, my eyes twitch left and right,

The counsellor looks straight through me, like a cat would stalking bird,

And I wonder if a condescending nod amounts to being heard.

I’m told that I can’t change the past, but that I can surely learn to cope,

So I begin to explain my predicament to this psychiatric Pope,

I try to discuss the issue, but my heart begins to sink,

I stress I’m looking for an answer and then I’m asked for ‘what I think’!

‘You’re making terrific progress’; as I wipe the tears I’ve cried,

I feel despair and disbelief; I’m being taken for a ride,

‘I wasn’t crying half as much until that door I came through,

If this is your idea of progress, then I’ve got news for you!’

‘You’ve told me my childhood was abusive, that my teacher was a bully,

My desire for nicotine and alcohol has been explained to me quite fully,

My head is spinning, I think I’m losing ‘it’, I don’t know where to turn,

I feel like running out the door, but you have the answer that I yearn.’

‘So, taking all this into account, with your highly tuned listening skills,

I remind you that you’re here for me, to facilitate my wills,

When I came in through your door today, I had just one question on my mind,

I’ll agree I’m lost, but I’m really o.k. Tis’ the toilet I wish to find to find!!!!!

Kevin Quarrell          16/02 /07


28/07/2010 Kevin Quarrell

What does it mean to be an Australian, how can I explain that I come from Down Under

Well it lies in my knowledge of mother being, both nurture and nature, of feeling the heartbeat as deep as thunder.

Perhaps it’s just lying lazily in the searing sun as skinks and geckos swift and flit upon lava stone

Or the appreciation of the cricket’s night time song, or the cicada’s evening drone

 Is it the giveaway sign of calmness that cloaks me when I smell the sweetness of the wattle

Or the friendly humour that emanates whence I consume burnt sausage and cold bottle


What does it mean to be an Australian, to come from this great vast land,

No black, nor white, or Asian man can ever refuse her hand,

Her tattoo is left indelible, and yet there is no visible sign,

Sometimes the only way you can ever know, is when I say, I’m proud to be Austral-i-yne

Is it my love for Patterson, is it because I still wear a Jackie Howe,

Maybe it’s a fact that after twenty long years from her shores, my matilda longs for her still somehow.


What does it mean to be an Australian, well let me try to give you some

Kind of example that lets you know what it’s like to feel as one

Of her children; one of her flowers, one of her seeds, that has survived desert rains and flooding drought

How sometimes her power can put you in that place where you have to stop and think it out

She is the Madonna, the Eden, the Dreaming, the promise that will never yield,

And for those that seek to find her, shall find her fruits, in every river, mountain, billabong and field


What does it mean to be an Australian, what does it really mean.

Is it ‘Fair dinkum’ , G’day, or ‘Have a go’ or does it carry a deeper seam?

Is it the ‘Lest we forget’ when the sun rises in the east, and remembering the Anzac brother

That gave me the freedom to see each Australian as an equal to each other

Is it the realisation that in her gain there is always a tandem loss,

Or that the heavens that we pray to are lit by her beautiful southern cross


What does it mean to be an Australian, maybe the meaning is the same for every earths son,

Is it the fact that were continental, and islanders, all in one,

Is it the blood on our hands, or the hereditary frown, or the twinkle of the loveable rogue,

As he sneaks a drink from the Melbourne Cup, or is it the twang of our convict brogue,

Perhaps Lawson defined us all, as bushmen that were great pioneers,

Or maybe it’s the story of Simpson and Donkey, that lets us overcome our fears


What does it mean to be an Australian; well maybe Mother Nature speaks it best,

She allows you to succour like a new born child upon her native breast,

But she carries a fury, a devils curse, a retributive power, that daren’t not be foresaken,

The rules that which her land runs by, are not for the unawaken,

No…., Mother.. Mother Nature here, is the vessel of life, beauty and sin,

She’s the sound and colour and smell and touch that is every Australian


What does it mean to be an Australian, sometimes it’s rhythmic connection to season,

It’s the feeling of being Australian in the beat of every season,

It’s the knowing of the redback, the tiger snake and roo,

It’s the knowing  that no matter where you are there’s still an outdoor loo,

It’s cricket on a summer’s day, it’s rules if your born in Vic,

It’s Rugby, up in Sydney’s Harbour, It’s warm beer that makes you sick,


What does it mean to be an Australian, well far be it from me to cut a long story short,

So whilst I’m up on my high bloody horse, let me tell you about the sort,

Of things that I identify with, that makes me feel like I’m one of her sons,

It’s McDowell Stuart,it’s the blackfella, it’s the drovers on their runs,

It’s the spirit of Anneas Gunn, the lady of Never, never land,

It’s the dolphins at Monkey Mia, the cave art of Gagadju Bill’s hand


What does it mean to be an Australian, it’s about falling down and never losing face,

It’s about growing away from your family, and remembering your base,

The true Australian, the one that you know, possesses a heart as big as Uluru,

And arms that stretch to coasts east and west, as a welcome for just you,

She is a Sheila, and he is a Pome, and there’s many other names that sit therein

But you will know one when you meet one, for there’s one thing Australian


It’s the one thing that defines Australians, it’s unique to all her bairn,

All traits are carried by her nature’s gifts, by all her women and men,

From her deportees to her free settlers, there’s nothing to keep them apart,

It’s the place where tall poppies can grow and be cut down for a fresh new start

It’s the land of eternal hope, that offers to every child, woman, or man

It’s my red dust patch, my matilda’s awakening,

That’s what it means to be an Australian.


Kev Quarrell

Original piece 01/08/201


From Lonsdale’s Point, to the Colac plains, to the salted air of St Helen’s Strand,

The images dance around in my mind like some far flung fairy land,

I recall a letter once passed to me in the car park beside Fidelity Hall,

And although time has faded my memory somewhat, this letter still has me in its thrall.

It was back in a time when such letters were penned, when innocence was still treasured,

Your hand had scrawled those simple thoughts, each word most heartfelt, and most measured.

We were just kids then, growing up in a different age, when a ‘crush’ represented love eternal,

And through my journeyed life I know now, that love cannot survive without a ‘crush’ as it kernel.

My mind wanders now and finds your smile, and I find myself self smiling at the thought,

It’s as if a rainbow shines out from your inner heart, it fills the room with the sort

Of warmth that can never be matched by anything man could ever make,

No, it’s your smile, which could stop any man, and cause his heart to break.

The sweet scent of the eucalypt; and the sweet song, of the kookaburra in season,

The whisper of the bay side waves, exist for just one reason,

You see, if I had never met you, then how could I ever understand or recognise beauty,

I thank you for this special gift, for you are in everything beautiful I see.

Your beauty knows no confines; it’s far greater than Kimberley’s Range,

No opal, emerald, sapphire or diamond could match it in exchange,

The Dreamtime Gods if given a say, would claim you as their own,

You are a queen amongst all women, and beauty is your throne.

I write you now simply because courtesy and etiquette demand a reply from any letter,

So here I am, thirty five years on, I suppose better late than never,

And as our lives move on, through the challenges, I hope you know I haven’t forgot

that day in Fidelity’s car park, when your letter stopped my heart like a clot.

I read it once, and twice, thrice more, until its edges became frayed,

And although life has been kind at times, it’s there I wished I’d stayed.

Knowing that somebody could love you, and had the courage to tell you so,

Is a gift that comes only from beauty, and you are the reason why it is beauty that I know.

Back then I was just a boy, today I am a man,

and the thought of you still fills my day as only someone like you can.

I think of you, your beauty, just like an ANZAC as he quietly watches each sunset,

This letter, though late ,is sent with love ,

To a childhood sweetheart that time could not forget


with love,

Kev Quarrell 18/12/09


By Llerrauq Nivek

  1. Once bitten, once stupid.


  1. Never walk alone, but always be prepared to do so.


  1. If you are lucky enough to live a long life, don’t wait to find out.


  1. When you meet people that turn you on, don’t turn them off.


  1. Achievements are only possible with the knowledge of loss. Otherwise how can you know that you have achieved.


  1. Self belief is not a crime; it is the very thing that drives us on to keep searching for peace.
  2. Celebrity may offer the promise of fame and fortune, reality offers more.


  1. Music is the language we use to say what we can’t speak, it is earthen, spiritual, loving and healing, and in these moments we need no words.


  1. Niggers are black, honkies are white, and my piano harmonises perfectly.


  1. When you meet somebody that is evil and nasty, maybe they are reflecting yourself, or maybe, just maybe, they are evil and nasty.


  1. They say that drinking alone can be bad for you, so in the future order your pint with two straws.


  1. Shit happens, before breakfast, or after breakfast, shit happens,


  1. So you may dream to be the king of the world, what will you do when you get there?


  1. Every child is an adult in waiting, sort yourself out, lest they become like you.


15.Nothing beats being a kid, jam sandwiches, colouring books, and Bob the dog, look at your life and shake quietly as you realise you’re still a kid, but without the innocence.


  1. God bless the drunken uneducated white racist brought to safety by the black paramedic.


  1. Aspiration is the first step to perspiration.


  1. Writing a novel is easy, believing you can do it, well that’s another story.


  1. If you judge a book by its cover, do you do that with people too?


  1. Making mistakes sucks. Not learning from them sucks even more.


  1. A harp is such a beautiful instrument, a symbol of angels and of Guinness, be careful of your interpretation.
  1. If someone hugs you without holding you, then you are just an obstacle in their journey.
  1. All governments hold you accountable; why not try doing the same?
  1. When you were young did you want to be something or be rich? Being rich won’t make you something, being something will make you rich.
  1. The crazy part about being positive is that you are always striving for something better; the crazy part about being negative is that you are always looking for something better,

Philosophically speaking maybe being crazy isn’t so mad after all!!!


By Kev Quarrell 13/12/08


  1. So they say we’re in recession, well what the heck does that mean?

The government, try to convince us, that it is a societal vaccine,

A dictionary definition defines it as an act of ceding back,

Whilst my granny’s fight for her medical card brings on a cardiac.

  1. Ceding Back?…. Oh come on!.. Did we ever cede ourselves forward?

Now I know that progress has been made, but has it been all that straightforward?

My granny said, as she lay prone, as her heart ceded back its beating,

“My life is flashing…..I recall great music,… Mozart, not Ronan Keating!”


3.”And wait!” she crowed, as her heart beat slowed, she was now in the realm of impunity,

“I have a vision, a distant memory, oh yes it’s an image of community.”

So she lay there drifting, like a government, ebbing in and out of conscious thought.

And mumbled something about a trolley, and dignity she was taught.

  1. And as I sit past midnight, with my granny and her failing heart,

She props up on her elbow and says “here’s the crazy part…”

“I cleaned your clothes on washboard, when you were just a child,

I chopped the wood for fireside, and was granny, and I smiled.”

5.”An indoor toilet was a concept, for ours was found in the backyard,

And sometimes I miss those things I had, just like my Medical Card!”

 I recall, in haze, for my heart beats weak, when I cleaned and wiped your small backside,

The joy of Dev, our Kerry Blue, who never left your side.”

  1. I listened once, I listened twice, and I knew the heart had stopped,

But the heart was mine, and not my gran’s, for on the elbow she was still propped!

“What’s wrong son?” She gently probed. “What is it that you’re thinking?”

I lay her down and comforted her, and felt her body shrinking.

  1. “Gran!” I said. “I love you deep, and trust me, this is very hard,

Your legacy is not lost in me, not like your medical card.

And my time, sometimes, is taken up, with the backside wiping of my clan,

But rest assured, the person that I am today, has something to do with you Gran.”



  1. “I know they never let you take a job or let you have the vote,

And through it all, you ne’er complained. You just kept the ship afloat.

Now I know that life is different now, sure I’m more concerned about my ipod,

And in your day, your main concerns were food and heat and God.”

  1. “Three more beats.” she says to me: “Use each one as a wish.”

And I realise now in hindsight, she was gifting me, wisdom on a dish,

I held her hand, her last warmth, and her last breath filled the air,

A privilege, A privilege, A privilege to be there.

  1. Wish one. That she is now at peace, and reunited with Grandad Joe,

That the love they shared here down on earth is filled with afterglow.

Wish Two. That every ounce of knowledge, wisdom, and compassion that she showed me,

Is not wasted on another’s Gran, left to die on a trolley.

  1. Wish Three. Is now your possession, and it contains three wishes for you,

To grant as you see fit, so see what you can do,

And as this is also my last wish, I feel my heart is beating hard.


I wish for the grace of God, and Gran, and her right to a medical card.


By Kev Quarrell    08/07/09

Never wrong, never right,

It’s always black and never white

It’s like some kind of eternal fight,

When you’re married to a nag!

Never early, always late,

Three days to prepare for a date,

Oh god above is this the fate,

When you’re married to a nag!

HER: No you can’t, yes you will, if you know what’s good for you,

Don’t bother thinking for yourself, I’ll do the thinking for you,

And you can take yourself outside if you want to smoke that dirty fag,

And the last thing that I hear is “Nag, nag, nag, nag nag !!!”

Never happy, never warm,

There’s never calm, just the storm,

Never off the bloody platform,

Is the one they call the nag,

Never taking, a breath or rest,

Always laying out some new test,

As if she’s swallowed a huge wasp’s nest

Is the one they call the nag!

HER: Where have you been? What time do you call this?

And I dare not say a word as I stare into the abyss,

Eat your dinner outside, it’s over there in the doggy bag,

And the last thing that I hear is “Nag, nag, nag, nag, nag!!!”

Never stopped, never thought,

The day the wedding ring was bought,

That all my efforts would come to naught

For the one they call the nag

Tried the chocolates, tried the flowers

Tried everything within my powers,

Tried counting up all the lost hours,

With the one they call the nag.

So now I just nod, apologise, and I nod again,

And walk the cowering walk of all nag-ged out men

I could have been a footballer with a flash car, money and a wag

And I now I have nothing except for “Nag, nag, nag, nag, nag!”

LITTLE CHILD    By Kevin Quarrell 22/05/09

Little child, runny nose, freezing cold little toes,

Pleading eyes, to passers bye, and winter’s lacerating throes,

The season’s song goes on and on, and on to the point of heresy

And your begging cup, fills with the drip, drip, drop,

As your hands begin to freeze


A crust of bread, a soft warm bed, a hot drink to warm your heart

A mothers hold, escape from cold, a wish for a new start.

And as you fall down and down and down, to the point of feral existence

Your begging cup fills with the drip, drip, drop,

As you cry out for assistance.


The executive gives ex-ple-tive, as his path is forced to detour,

The averted eyes, of the ones on high, extol ignorance so pure

And as you shiver, wither and wither, and wither to the point of letting go

Your begging cup fills with the drip, drip, drop,

As rainfall turns to snow


Little child, runny nose, the spirit always shows,

That your house of card, is far too hard, for all the high street Joes’

And as you tumble, crumble and crumble, and crumble without a fight

Your begging cup fills with the drip, drip, drop,

As life becomes eternal night.


Little child, runny nose, freezing cold little toes………..




Standing here, in this moment now, I have the feeling that you somehow,

Are with me here, even though your touch is far,

When I think of you, and how you used to, make me laugh with the things you’d do,

I think of you as I gaze upon that star

And I struggle with the words that I want to say,

How it is to be so far away

I struggle with the distance and time,

And yet in my times of quiet, it all comes right,

Because I think of you, and it feels,

Yes it feels, just like sunshine.









By Kevin Quarrell  22/05/09

1.Big halls, big men, white collars, chil-dren,

The keepers of faith, keeping on with denial,

The black cloth of the abuser, serves as a confuser,

To the dependant young with no right to trial

2.The truant, the poor, the bold and the cripple,

All housed in a mansion of hell,

Where the use of a smile, was punished with bile,

Until you were beat(bet) back into your shell

3.The sun, moon, and Venus, the white collared penis,

Were more frequent than a regular meal,

Only education, beating, and masturbation

And for a child just couldn’t be real

4.Three score and ten, damaged women and men,

All years later, the tears still haven’t flown,

For the anger and resentment, cannot reach contentment,

Until the truth and justice be shown,

5.The sisters, the brothers, the buggering fathers,

Were preying, but not as you and I might,

For they closed their mind once, twice, thrice and more

As they raped and abused every night

6.Let no truce defuse the abuse, or exempt the hypocrites of God

Let judgement be metered by the victims alone

Retribution, absolution, or some form of resolution

For those that called the Institution their home



OLD MAN WALKING    BY Kev Quarrell     01/07/09

D                                       G

Old man walking, with old man bones,

D                                       G

Huffin and a puffin with old man groans

D                              G

Walkin by all the old tombstones,

A                                             D

 Reminds me I’m alive and free


Old man runnin’  with old man time,

Rejoicing in the choices of this life of mine,

Runnin by the young ones in their prime

 Reminds me I’m alive and free


A                                   G

Once punch drunk, once flat broke,

D                           C

Once I was the kinda bloke,

A                                        G                                    D

that could sell you black cigarettes and old moonshine

A                                         G

once my hair was long, once jet black

D                                                            Bmin

had a chip on my shoulder and the world on(at) my back

G                   Emin                            A                                D

but now I walk the roads as an old man walks the time.


Old man winning, with old man goals,

Duckin and a divin’ all the old man holes

Not letting age interrupt these strolls

Reminds me I’m alive and free


Old man listening, with old man ears,

Trembling and assembling all the young man’s fears

Thank god for the wisdom of all these years

For it reminds me I’m alive and free



F#min                           Bmin

Two steps forward, one step back,

F#min                           Bmin

Old man walking through life’s great track

F#min                                    Em

There’s plenty of time for sittin on back

A                                                              D

When the church bells ring their chime


Old man singing his old man tunes,

 A clinkin and a clankin on his old man spoons

Still dancing under late night moons

Reminds me I’m alive and free


Old man kissin his ol sweetheart

Reelin from the feelin in his old man heart

And if I go to hell in an ol handcart,

At least I lived a life so free



By Llerrauq Nivek

  • Everyday we look in the mirror; do you ever stop to think that others don’t see the same image as you?
  • Sometimes not knowing something is the most important thing of all.
  • If you aspire to reach the top, does that mean you enjoy looking down on people? 
  • If death and taxes are the two certainties of life, then why haven’t we killed off tax?
  • Today I am depressed, it is my preferred option, there once was a time in my life when I was glad to be gay. 
  • Political correctness. Is that an oxymoron?
  • If I tell you that I love you, I mean it, I don’t use these words lightly, if you question this, then ask yourself why? Being loved should be the most satisfying thing in life. 
  • One day you will become old; don’t let that day be tomorrow.
  • If somebody tells you they don’t care, chances are they don’t. 
  • Celebrating victories is easy. Celebrating losses can bring victories.
  • Sex is an option for us all in life. But it can only happen through someone else’s choice. 
  • A dog wants to love you. When you feed it, play with it, cuddle it, train it, enjoy its welcome, and have the pleasure of experiencing that your dog knows you better than most, then treasure it. For dog is just God spelt backwards.
  • If your legs are broken, then don’t attempt to walk. If your spirit is broken then start walking, one step at a time until you can live a life where you can break a leg. 
  • There are many dangers in life. Do your best to not be one of them.
  • Cancer always seems to hit people with dreams. People without dreams just rot away.
  • If Usain Bolt can run the 100 metres in 9.5 secs, what is he running from?
  • It is quite possible that everything you know in life is true; it is also possible that everything I know is true as well.
  • Mankind has created the Mona Lisa, the Eiffel Tower, and the Rubiks Cube. God created the great oceans, the mountain peaks, the majestic valleys. Only you can create happiness.
  • Complexity is the semantics way of making something simple appear interesting. Simplicity is quite complex, semantically speaking.
  • If you have ever made a fool of yourself in public, then why did this not spur you on to a career in politics?
  • If the Dalai Lama is the wisest man in the world, why does he accept living in a persecuted nation?
  • When a horse wins a race, through its effort, many men can benefit, what an interesting philosophy. Imagine if it was a man instead of a horse.
  • If you could take back all the money that you have spent on lottery tickets, and scratch cards, would you still feel lucky?
  • Does road kill test Darwin’s theory of evolution?
  • If you have to force it, then don’t.


Dedication to my love and muse’    by Kev Quarrell   28/11/09


I’m sitting here alone inside my mind, searching for an answer, just trying to find,

A way of escape from this bind, of being alone inside my mind.

Searching for some kind of relief, from this soul destroying robbing thief,

I’m ready to crumble like an autumn leaf, alone  inside my mind.


And the grey skies seem to be turning black, I see people moving on as I step back,

It’s like I’m living in a heart attack that I can’t break through,

The symphony inside my heart has been has been pierced by the conductors dart,

Let’s rewind back to the start ………… when there was just me and you.


Running like a hamster on a wheel, running round in circles is how I feel

No sweet violins, just a glockenspiel, playing inside my mind

Chasing bubbles like a new born pup, milk spilling over from my cup,

Swinging on a bungee cord that doesn’t bounce up, alone inside my mind.


And the grey skies seem more frequent now, I see people moving on as I wonder how,

The maker in the heavens could take back his vow, the whole damn thing aint true,

As my life blood flows to the Arctic plate, I never thought I’d reach this state,

Oh how I wish for our first date,……….. when there was just me and you


Swimming like a fool in a money pit, struggling with the part that lets me sit,

With the reality,…….. that this is it,……. me and you,……. alone inside my mind.



Davey was a hard working man, his skin was leathered by the wind,

He rose before the sun, took a shave, paid no heed of the day comin’ in,

Most men were scratching their balls, or fartin’ or rubbin’ their sandpaper chins,

And Davey, grabbed his lid and turned, and left the hut yellin’ ‘Come on, Get up, Get in!’

‘Jumbuck!’ yelled Davey, and it echoed round the deck,

‘Jumbuck!’ he called again and wailed, as he rubbed his sweaty neck,

The scuttle, the hurry, the bleats, the kicks, they could make you a nervous wreck,

But today Davey, was a steam train working, a special day on the deck

Now, he took the first and cleaned her in a 2 minute 57 time,

Not  to shabby for the first of the day, not great, but not sublime,

‘Jumbuck!’  he called again, and by the fifteenth his clippins’ fine,

And as he wiped his brow on completion, his comrades had still made no sign.

Now, ‘Russian’, who was Czechoslovakian, peeled his way on board,

Same build as Davey, same singlet of navy, same weight, and same jawed,

‘Mornink!’ he said, and Davey nodded and ‘Jumbuck!’ he once more roared,

And the ‘Russian’, who was Czechoslovakian, stood in amazement as the 23rd sheep was shorn.

The dawn was way past the Anzac and the pens were thriving with life,

Rodge was sheering in bloody good time, and the Pom was strugglin’ and in strife,

The tar boy used ten sweeps for the Pom, and offered him a knife sayin’

‘It would be more human to kill the poor critter!’,

And then Digger took a dive,

‘Squatter!’ screamed the tar boy, ‘Christ Almighty!’ yelled Malacouta Mick,

A Jumbuck had bucked and collected Digger, and burst his upper lip,

The Russian was quick, but not as quick as Davey, who jumped ten pens to arrive,

‘Piss off ya bludgers!’ yelled Davey, ‘Give him air, get him outside!’

Digger was taken back to quarters and Davey returned to the mire,

He walked up on deck and whistled and caught every shearers eye,

Some nodded in deference, some in respect, and others with a zealous ire,

‘Jumbuck!’ yelled Davey, and he worked like a man on fire.

The squatter nodded and the tar boy called ‘Lunch!’ and every shearer dropped his blade,

A half hour for lunch,  5 minutes there and back, every minute had to be saved,

Davey had broken a sweat, and the Yank made a snide remark,

And the ‘Russian’, who was Czechoslovakian, promised to introduce the Yank to the dark.

All the hard men were fed, the soft men as well, all had their mash and peas with gravy,

The last shadow to leave was the parishoner’s son, the first belonged to Davey

‘Jumbuck!’ was called…the pond fell silent…and everyman turned his head,

The Yank had worked his lunch break, a fate worse than being dead,

Davey whistled and called for the tally, and the tally man obliged,

‘Davey 192!’ , ‘the Yank is five behind!’

‘No way! Not true! Couldn’t happen!’ Was the murmur, and the ‘Russian spoke his mother tongue,

Then Bert, the five foot Queenslander, spoke out for everyone,

‘You’re nothin’ but a low down, cheatin’, lyin’ piece of shit,

You even kept on shearin’ when the jumbuck broke up Digger’s lip,

If Christ himself was on the deck, you wouldn’t even wash his feet,

You’re a disgrace to Yanks, a disgrace to shearers, you’re a no good bloody cheat!’

Well, the omnipresent silence was tasted by its’ smell,

Of sheep dung, sweat and red dust, and a feeling of ne’er do well.

‘Count and clear the tally!’ yelled Davey, and everybody gasped,

‘Pay these men their dues, and double it if they ask!’

‘Yank!’, he said, ‘Choose your cutter! From anywhere on the deck,

You can walk out now with nothin’ or with your self respect!’

‘So you’re callin’ me a liar, thief and cheat! That’s what you’ve done,

Hey pal, I’m a  great Yankee shearer, in fact I’m a bloody gun!’

‘O.K., McGregor, I’ll take your bet, and raise your fricken stakes,

Whoever shears the least amount, has to leave the God Damned state!’

Now if the Yank could shear with his mouth, he’d be the best shearer in the land,

But bullshit and bravado, don’t belong in a shearin’ man,

The ‘Russian’ said, ‘I’ll call the starck!’ and dropped his handkerchief,

And the shearing battle of all time began,

Between Davey, and the cheat.

Even Horace grinned with anticipation as the two combatants chose a pen,

The squatter allowed the indulgence and sat back to watch these men,

The tar boy, brush at the ready, concentrated on the Yank,

Cos’ Davey never cut a sheep, he was money in the bank.

‘Tar boy!’ was called, and the Yank looked stunned, with his deep and furrowed brow,

And as the tar boy leapt over to the Yank’s pen,

Davey yelled, ‘Tar boy!’ get here now!’

Blood was flowing on the deck, Davey had made a cut somehow,

And the ‘Russian’ wanted to help Davey out, but the rules just wouldn’t allow.

You see, as the jumbuck left the traps and hurried into the evening rain,

He’d kicked the cutters, that sliced through like butter, three fingers to the vein,

Davey threw his hand into the tar bucket, and all watching drew the pain,

And with sweat, or tears, running down his face, Davey started shearin again.

The outback God was laying down, the day drawing to a close,

The squatter nodded, the tar boy called ‘Time!’

And the battlers like statues, froze.

‘Not a cut further’, said Rodge. ‘Lay down your blades!’ and as Horace picked his nose,

The memory of Jackie Howe hung as the tally man rose.

‘Davey!  Your my winner!’ and not a cheers from his mates was borrowed,

‘But Davey, I hate to tell ya, the Yank will be shearin’ here tomorrow,

‘Yank 97, Davey 96! I’ve never known a greater sorrow,

‘ A better gun shearer I’ve never seen, none more precise, or quick or thorough.

A slow hand clap echoed around the shed, and Davey began to say goodbye,

And the ‘Russian’, who was Czechoslavakian, felt a tear form in his eye.

‘Squatter!’ called the ‘Russian’.’ One more hour, please comply!’

And every shearer worth his weight in gold, rallied to the cry!

‘Well Yank?’ said the squatter, ‘Are you prepared to have a go?

‘If you’re half as good as you think you are, then everyone will know.’

And with every eye upon him, he said, ‘Look I don’t know,

Sure I won the battle, but Davey won the war, I think that I should go.’

And with that Davey leapt the pen and offered him his hand,

That was covered in tar and sweat and blood and belonged to a shearin’ man,

‘Fine words you’ve spoken Yank, they’re not written in the sand,

Let’s catch the mornin’ sunrise and go on workin’ just as planned.

So all the men took their quarters, not one needed a push,

And they chatted and squabbled and drifted, like all men from the bush,

Each man would take his ritual, still talking by the dunny mirror,

of the day the myth became a legend, of Davey, the gun shearer.


A phone call across the oceans, and a quiet hello across the seas,

A young child cries in his night time slumber as I sip green tea in the summer breeze,

Two islands sitting a world apart either side of this fine planet’s equator,

And still two hearts can merge through this, and nothing could be greater


Just to hear your tone of voice evokes memories of young love lost,

It rips me back to that special place and it’s there I see the cost,

Oh how different our lives may have been if our paths were of the same destiny,

No one can know, but as a foolish guess, I suspect your voice would still be music to me.


And although you’re not singing down the telephone line, your melody still rings true,

And still today, when I hear Lionel Ritchie’s ‘All Night Long’ I remember my first dance with you,

But it’s that space between us, that brings me most joy, it’s a space of freedom expressed,

And this special gift that we water each day means both of us have been deeply blessed.


For you see, not time, or distance, wealth or looks, can ever quench the purest desire,

And the tastes of life we’ve travelled since, has still untouched our fire,

So remember this, tomorrow brings a life of blossom and growth, no longer any shrinking,

And to share that with you for eternity,


There’s no harm in wishful thinking.


With love, Kev,  16/06/2010

The Recollection

Try to sit still now; try to sit in the quiet,

Try to just think of nothing, and that everything is right,

Try to imagine the world as we know it, has in a moment, just stopped spinning,

Try to think back to that feeling, way back in the beginning

Recall the’ nothingingness’ that revolved around you then,

Recall the weather, the clothes you wore, recall them if you can,

Recall that feeling of how you swirled, and how time had stopped turning,

And when you have arrived at those crossroads, I’ll be waiting there, with the same yearning


Crazy though it might appear, I would care little for how the weather may be,

Crazy though others may think, these crossroads are special memory,

Crazy, yes, perhaps it is, in trying to recall the past,

But craziest of all is, how long these memories last.


For I speak of the moment when I first realised that time was not so clever,

Yes I speak of the moment, that one chance in life, is ingrained in me forever,

Oh I speak of a moment in my life, and one thing I know is this,

I try my best to be the best I can,

I recall people of value, and others I dismiss,

I may be crazy every now and then,

 But I speak the truth when I say it was bliss,

That day we stopped the world spinning;

So if I’m crazy now,

it’s all because,

I recall our

First kiss

                                                         x                                                                                                                                                   By Kev  Quarrell 19/12/09

THE SONGCATCHER   by Kev Quarrell  14/04/09  (c)

D                                          G                              D                                 A

When I would sit on my granddad’s knee; and he would wax lyr-i-cal,

Em                              Em7            G                       A

Every story that he told me; I swallowed like a fool,

D                                         G             D                                          A

He’d talk about his childhood; and the risks that he would take,

Em                              Em7           G                                           A

Tall tales about my mother; and the shed he built by the lake,

G                                                                                  D                     Bm

And every now and then he’d just sit there giggling, with a wry grin,

G                                        G/F#                       Em                                A

And I would look him in the eye and say ‘Hey! Granddad, are you lyin?’

(and he would say)

D                                                                                      G                G/F#          Em         A

Son, I am a chippie, and I worked with brickies, the sparks n plumbers and a thatcher,

A                                                                                   G                                      A

The most important man I ever did meet is the one they call the song catcher.

D                                                                                                                G          G/F#       Em                     A

He ‘ll make you laugh, and make you cry, make you wonder why your culture screams out to grab ya,

G                                                      A                                   G                                          A              D

So when you kneel and pray, at the end of the day, give thanks for the song catcher.

D                                                               G               D                            G                  A                  D

And he would sing ‘Hiddle I doh, Hiddle I dum, Hiddle Rah a diddle Ram Diddle Rah Do,

D                                                                   G      G/F#     Em

And he would giggle, and he’d tickle, twist me in a riddle

A                                                D

As only a song catcher can do.

Verse 2

He’d sing about the war; the donkey next door,

About Harry’s dog that thought he was a cat,

The heroes on the field; crops that never yield,

And the time when the beer went flat,

He would have me in stitches; when he sang about the britches on the witches of Caracticus,

And how the crickets in the night; make sure the songs are right

Before they give them to the song catchers

And he would always get me; in a state of apoplexy, with the laughing tears I was cryin’

And I would look him in the eye and say ‘Hey! Granddad, are you lyin?’

(and he would say)

Son, I am a chippie, and I worked with brickies, the sparks n plumbers and a thatcher,

The most important man I ever did meet is the one they call the song catcher.

He ‘ll make you laugh, and make you cry, make you wonder why

your culture screams out to grab ya,

So when you kneel and pray,

at the end of the day, give thanks for the song catcher.

And he would sing ‘Hiddle I doh, Hiddle I dum, Hiddle Rah a diddle Ram Diddle Rah Do,

And he would giggle, and he’d tickle, twist me in a riddle

As only a song catcher can do.

Verse 3

So come all ye child; come all ye girls

Come all ye mad craic seeking men,

And sing your song; out loud anon,

Let those singing lines breathe again.

And let it be said, I think you’re better off dead,

If your song re-mains quiet;

For the song catcher, can make it live, in a faraway session tonight

And my Granddad said, as he’d put me to bed, it’s all about the tune and the rhyme,

And I looked up into his eyes and said ‘Granddad, I think you’re right this time!’

(and he would say)

Son, I am a chippie, and I worked with brickies, the sparks n plumbers and a thatcher,

The most important man I ever did meet is the one they call the song catcher.

He ‘ll make you laugh, and make you cry, make you wonder why your culture screams out to grab ya,

So when you kneel and pray, at the end of the day, give thanks for the song catcher.

And he would sing ‘Hiddle I doh, Hiddle I dum, Hiddle Rah a diddle Ram Diddle Rah Do,

And he would giggle, and he’d tickle, twist me in a riddle

As only a song catcher can do.

And he would sing ‘Hiddle I doh, Hiddle I dum, Hiddle Rah a diddle Ram Diddle Rah Do,

And he would giggle, and he’d tickle, twist me in a riddle


As only a song catcher can do……as only the song catcher can do




Oh! Fireside glow, and warm this room,

And dance with the twinkle of the tree,

Oh! Candle as you flicker

Will you light the way for me?

And present wrapped in paper’s gift,

Do hide beneath the bough,

And magic and wonder please greet the child

For I need your spirit now.

For the match girl, weary, plies her trade

Still deep into the night

As I reap the warmth of your fire glow

And the lighting of my Christmas night.

The young ones lie asleep with haste

For tonight Santa Claus will come

And the gifts that teach them how to play

Have come through the gift of the almighty Son

And yet, innocence and selfishness

Are the joys of being a child,

There but for the grace of God

Are they not match sellers, and the exiled.

I look at all my earnings, that

Are modest like most men I know

And they have manifested in gifts for mine

To create a Christmas glow

And still the match girl preys on my mind

As I silently pray for her.

For my wherewithal won’t provide a gift,

Or from winter’s cold, shelter.

So gather Christian, Pagan, or other,

And enjoy your Christmas unfurl,

And spare a thought, as you light a candle,

With a match, from the hands of the match girl.


Ruby, Ruby , a colour and shade,

A treasure in stone from the land,

Ruby,Ruby, is a Tuesdays child,

And the ring upon my girl’s hand,

Ruby,Ruby, sounds just like a beating heart,

And my heart beats as strong as the one she does give

Ruby, Ruby, is an angel in dance,

And a reminder of ,

The reason,

To live.

Happy Birthday Ruby

Kev Quarrell.xxxxxxx



Talk is cheap, and so is money,

And the wheels of change can take forever,

And justice is flawed and tied up in the law,

And your life a testament to endeavour.

The religious, the state, did all to negate,

Your claims of abuse by your keepers

And still in the house, you sit like a mouse,

As the suits give you the gift of the reaper.

Sorry, so sorry, walk not alone in this time,

Your truth has won out through courage,

And we’ll carry you, to where you wish to you climb

Sorry, so sorry, for the cross you were forced to bear,

Know that your heart has a beat with mine,

And that your truth has found an ear,

Sorry, so sorry, walk on without fear.


Tomorrow is just a breath away, and it brings the promise of a better day

It will always appear come what may,

So throw out your arms and embrace tomorrow,

Yeah, tomorrow offers you so much, like a piece of fine art that you can’t touch,

It gives you relief from today’s rush,

So keep on believin’ in tomorrow.

The future that lies in your dreamy eyes,

Has already been seen by tomorrow,

You are on top of the heap but still have to keep,

Yesterdays troubles, today’s tribulations, to reach the realities ( reap the rewards) of tomorrow.

Tomorrow is like a blank slate, you can choose to be in Hell’s kitchen or to make tomorrow great,

But if yesterday was your foe, then tomorrow is your mate,

So throw out your arms and embrace tomorrow

Tomorrow never comes said the fool that died today,

When the sun was shinin’, he sat there whinin’ refusing to make hay,

And if you can make it someday,

Then keep on believing in tomorrow.


Music and lyrics by Kev Quarrell (c) 12/03/2010

When you are near my heart beats strong

With you beside me, I know, I, can, carry on

When you are near, I be-gin to believe

That every thing I’ve hoped for, can be,my reality

When you are near

When you are near the future seems bright

With you beside me I know I can see the light

When you are near life feels so true

And every thing comes alive when I’m with you,

When you are near.


And when -ever I am on my own,

I know just what to do

I reach for the love that I have known,

And I find myself right back there with you

When you are near, there is always a new day,

With you beside me, I feel strong and l feel safe.

When you are near I know love can be true

And I am fulfilled when I think of you

When you are near

Hello Mr. Butterfly

by Kevin Quarrell 02/08/2010

Hello Mr. Butterfly, or should I call you Emperor sir?

I wonder if your wing pattern is different from all other Emperors,

I’m sure you’re special and quite unique, oh how I wish I could fly like you,

To rest in the blossom of all those plants, that’s something I’d love to do.


The scent would calm me and soothe my mind, give me sanctuary when I’m feeling glum,

I could fly away, for some quiet peace, each time those fights happen with Dad and Mum,

Maybe you could tell me Mr. Butterfly, cos you’ve surely explored the world,

Why my daddy makes my mummy cry, like a little frightened girl


I wish my Dad was more like you, an emperor, a noble and proud being,

But he comes home late and I hear their shouts, I hear ‘drink, and ‘money’ and disagreeing,

That’s when I’m supposed to be asleep in my bed, instead of under the covers crying,

And it’s in those moments Mr. Butterfly, I wish I was just like you, where I could escape this all by flying,


Oh and you used to have a cocoon to hide in, I wish there was one big enough for me,

Cos then I wouldn’t have to listen to those big bad words that Mum gets from my Daddy,

And sometimes he throws stuff at her, and here’s one of the weirdest things,

That the stuff he throws doesn’t travel as far as you can with your wings.


Well, I have to go back inside now sir, I think Daddy’s gone away again,

I have to try to find mummy’s smile, cos she finds it hard to smile when,

Daddy yells, I wish he was like you, cos you let me talk and think out loud,

So Mr. Butterfly, if ever I become a Dad, I will try to be like you, with your royal coat, and try to make you proud.

Is it?

by Kev Quarrell 21/12/08

Is it the thought, or is it the touch,

Perhaps it’s just the simplicity of your smile,

Is it the times that we spend with nicotine and caffeine

Or is it the time we spend in exile.

Is it the truth, or is it the hope,

Perhaps it’s just the idea of being in love,

Is it the chance of living a dream

For happiness, for both, thereof.

Is it the pain, or the crossing the line,

Perhaps it’s just the fear of the unknown,

Is it a fact that my love for you,

Is so deeply felt, and yet unshown.

Is it so right, or is it so wrong,

Perhaps it’s just how things must be,

Is it a statement of misunderstanding

To you, when it isn’t from me.

Is it the knowing, is it the tears,

Perhaps it’s just a vessel for further growth,

Is it a question from the sweet hand of God,

To be answered in honest, by both.

Is it the joy, is it the laugh,

Perhaps it’s just that we enjoy each other,

Is it really the thought of a crazy man,

That you are friend, trustee and lover.

Is it the hope, or is it the faith,

Perhaps it’s just pure destiny,

For the is, it is, never has been a doubt,

The is, is my love for thee.


by Kev Quarrell   11/07/09

Now I know that I’m not as good as him

But I’d surely like to be,

He’s everything, an inspiration, just as a hero should be

And if I compare myself to him, he’s a ten and I’m a zero

But he tells me I’m a ten just like him, that’s why he is my hero

He plays guitar, he sings the songs, tells jokes and has the banter,

His skill, is that I feel, that I’m invited on this canter,

And he tells this story of a songwriter he met on the internet,

And to my shock, it wasn’t me, for that’s how we had met.

He’s just a cyber whore, like the ones before that added me as their friend.

Promising to keep in touch with a message that they’d send,

I travelled an hour, through a hail storm shower, to bring my virtual friend to life

And my hero was there with the other one, and I like a spurned wife

Never meet your hero, just keep the dream a wish

For your hero lives in a bowl just like an old goldfish

He’ll pretend that he remembers you, that you’re someone he’d like to know

He’s not to blame; he has no faults, because he’s a hero.

More fool me for believing that the virtual world was real

And the emails that we’d sent meant there was a lifelong seal

I can’t tell you how, on that stormy night, I was feeling used and cheated

So my hero now is still a dream, not virtual, just deleted…..


And so another year has rolled on,

And we wonder what did it mean,

We’ve forged on regardless of the nay sayers and the tears,

To drink from the cup of Auld lang syne as we’ve done in previous years.

In a hundred years from now, will they still sing that old sweet song,

Will they look back and reminisce of the people that have gone,

Or will they just always think forward of the dreams that can be,

As if yesterday is just a way of forgetting, and a timelag necessity.

Well it’s the new year now, and every time it comes,

We seem to remember that time’s precious, and once it gone it’s gone.

So I raise a glass to you today, for you are all now here,

And I wish you everything that’s good for you in this new year.


It takes a while to all sink in, but I think you’ve got beneath my skin

And I can’t seem to walk or run away,

I feel like I am on the moon, when you walk into the room

You’ve caught me like a summer’s day.


By Llerrauq Nivek

  • Academia is the field of proven research, allegedly.
  • When you wish upon a star, do you realise it is thousands of light years away? 
  • I once dreamt that I couldn’t sleep. What a dream!
  • Having choice in life is important, having a life is more important. 
  • If your daughter plays at being a princess, then don’t be a right royal Bastard by ruling her life.
  • There are six sides to a cube, three sides to a triangle, and two faces to every living person in mankind. 
  • The funny thing about laughing is why we stop?
  • The guy that said “Idle hands do the devils work”. Must have been a wanker. 
  • Being a virgin is one thing; just don’t let it be in the field of wisdom.
  • A fool and his money are soon parted. Become an opportunist and surround yourself with fools. 
  • You may care for how I feel, you may care for how I think, but if I don’t behave according to your standards, then I suspect you will care very little indeed.
  • You are not actually entitled to anything, get over it. 
  • The greatest thing about life is death; the greatest thing about death is life itself.
  • All psychotherapists have issues, all counsellors have issues, and all clients have issues. If someone would just give us a ‘T’ then we would all have tissues and the world would be a better place. 
  • If you believe in reincarnation and that a cat has nine lives, does that mean at some stage we have all been a lion, a tiger, or a pussy.
  • When you are looking down the barrel of a gun, you are in the wrong place because of choices that you have made.
  • Politicians offer you promises and taxes. One thing is for certain, promises never turn up in legislation.
  • A bottle of fine red wine can help you cope with life’s tribulations, the morning after can help your desire for fine red wine. 
  • Practice makes prefects.
  • Going forward, I intend to reflect on the past. 
  • How much does feeling good actually cost?
  • If you are really happy with your life then stop seeing faults in others, but if you stop seeing faults in others will you really be happy?
  • I have had several lovers and only one wife. One swallow does not a summer make. 
  • Owning a fast sports car cannot conceal the fact that you are still a dickhead.
  • Having an addiction is God’s way of saying Ha! Ha! Having a soul mate is God’s way of saying Yee ha!

“Matilda Awakening”

Posted: May 15, 2015 in Uncategorized


On Friday October the 4th, 2013, the Irish people are being invited to cast a vote on two constitutional amendments.

The first proposal will ask ‘if you agree to the abolition of the Seanad’..The second will seek permission for a ‘Court of Appeal and other changes to the court system’.

In order to minimise confusion, we shall address the first proposal only, which is the issue of the Seanad, the Upper House of the Parliamentary system.

So let’s begin,

Essentially, the FG/Lab Coalition Government, are leading this charge to abolish the Seanad, on the basis of cost and efficiency. The Yes campaign claim that abolishing the Upper House will save 20 million euro, the No side claim the figure is closer to 8 million euro. Either way, holding the referendum is reportedly costing the taxpayer 14 million euro. However, the cost argument, is neither well founded, transparent, or accurately proven. Neither side has accurately produced figures in a clear accessible documented form, that will allow scrutiny by the very people being asked to cast their voice on a potentially massive constitutional change.

Nonetheless, let’s work with the Government line, that the Seanad is costing the taxpayer 20 million euro year on year. The Upper House consists of 60 Senators:

  • 11 nominated by the Taoiseach
  • 43 elected by five panels representing vocational interests namely, Culture and Education, Agriculture, Labour, Industry and Commerce and Public Administration
  • Six elected by the graduates of two universities: – three each by the National University of Ireland and the University of Dublin (Trinity College)

The No campaign have recently stated that over 500 recommendations, additions, and amendments to Bills, have been conducted by The Seanad since the formation of this current Oireacthas (parliament).

So using the Government (unsubstantiated) figure of ’20 million’ , that means, that each Senator comes in at a cost of 333,333 euro, or that each Bill has cost approximately 40,000 euro.

Alas, to use such mathematical factors would be to miss the point though, for the more accurate figure is the cost to the individual taxpayer. In a workforce of circa 1.8 million people, the Seanad works out to cost the individual taxpayer a very manageable 11 euro per person, year on year. (based upon the Government position of an unsubstantiated, or transparent costing, of the figure of 20 Million euro).

11 euro a year?  The price of a cinema ticket and popcorn? The price of a couple pints? Less than the monthly cost of a TV License? One fifth of one G.P. appointment? The price of a decent 12 inch pizza?  …….and we are being asked to abolish it on a basis of cost?

It is clear the cost argument just doesn’t hold up, when using the highest figure of 20 million euro, which by the way is 0.03 cent per day.

So it must be the efficiency factor then, surely…? Alas, as efficiency is more often than not tied to a cost coefficient this seems to be an argument with little legs to support it.

No,the elephant in the room of spin, (and let’s remember that when it comes to ‘spin’  the Dail (Lower House) appears to be streets ahead in this art, than the Seanad ever has been),  is the role of Democracy in our society.

Is the Seanad a perfect Democratic institution? No, not by a long shot. Is it a Democratic institution? Yes. technically speaking. Is its abolition a Democratic strengthening move? No, it cant be, when its purpose is fundamentally to be a watchdog over the Lower House, as has been proven through its debates, amendments, recommendations, etc..

It’s abolition will bring less democracy, and the Lower House will become less accountable.

The Government proposes to ‘replace’ the Seanad with ‘citizen committees’ when it comes to reviewing Bills, etc. Now, this may appear to be a noble exercise, however, firstly, we haven’t been given any notion of what these committees will cost the taxpayer, secondly, we have not been clearly informed of who will make up these committees, and thirdly, not one member of these committees will be accountable to the public. So we may in fact  be left with the vista of legislation being informed by unelected political cronies,..ergo, less democracy, unaccountable and uncosted.

Reform to the Seanad is definitely required, the removal of Taoiseach appointees, and the direct election by all citizens of the State, are but to name just two, although there are many more other changes to be discussed, albeit, we are not being asked to reform, we are being asked to abolish.

Getting rid of politicians because we don’t like them, cant trust them, have been ‘nailed to the cross’ by them,  or because it is a rare chance to give them a ‘bloody nose’, is not a very good reason to abolish a fundamental house of Democracy, they are reasons to exercise your vote to hold them to account at each election.

To put it into a contemporary context:

In Nairobi this week, criminals killed many innocent people, they holed up for a while, but were eventually removed, dead or alive, however the shopping centre was not bombed into history, just because it was an unsavoury place for a while….. its lower levels and upper levels were kept intact,


However you choose to cast your vote on the 4th of October, is your choice, all that is asked is at what price?

As shown, 0.03 cent a day will be your saving, if you choose to abolish the Seanad,


But at what cost?




The higher moral ground.

Posted: July 16, 2013 in Uncategorized

A Lovely blog about bullying and how to trust yourself in it….

at least i have a brain

THE HIGHER MORAL GROUND…can be a lonely place to stand…but is the ONLY place to stand!

Once upon the time there was a bully.

Nobody ever stood up to this bully.

They gathered what they perceived as strength.

But they merely developed an ugly personality.

a hideous evil personality

they lurched through life belittling people

and leading weak with them

and their venom kept flowing


one day, someone challenged the perceived stronghold.

that meant


the bully did not like this and began to damage the reputation of the strong person. Tarnishing and tainting the locals perception of the strong person and painting them as BAD.


The strong person had strong moral code:

  • honesty
  • fairness
  • justice for weak
  • right.
  • bullying is never right.
  • do NOT join in the tale telling
  • do not listen to the bullshit about you
  • your friends are WELL chosen.
  • to stand up for right – against a…

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“Happy Father’s Day”

Posted: June 16, 2013 in Prose
Tags: , ,



Believe it or not, he cares and emotes,

He’ll travel the miles, be it car, planes, or boats,

He stands on the sidelines, cheering your game,

He wears, his princess’s Dandelion chain,


He fixes the bike, paints,  washes up,

He yells occasionally, He never gives up,

He may never tell you, about the joy that you bring,


that just a Daddy thing.


Make no mistake; he hurts the same as you,

But he puts it aside, for that’s what Daddies do,

He sees his role, as being solid, strong, and true,

Whenever you need him, he’s there for you.


He never acclaims to be perfect,

 he knows he is not,

But he tries to be the best he can, with the tools that he’s got,

He’s funny at times, and really a big kid at heart,

He’s a bit of your life,

that’s an important part.


He’s your Daddy, your Da, your Father, your mate,

He puts out the bins; get’s you home from a date,

He never asks for anything each Father’s Day,

Yet he demands you to be your best,

it’s just his way.


He has knowledge to burn, and yet not every answer,

He just knows who is true, and who is a chancer,

You may never have seen him, when he was in his prime,

Back then he was free, like you are, in your time


Would he change a thing, with all things considered,

No, he wouldn’t, he’d grow old and embittered,

He’s your Daddy, He’s your Papa, He’s your go to man,

He’s the best Daddy, Why? Because he just can.


So to all Fathers today, may your day be blessed,

May your Fatherhood,be celebrated, recognised, be addressed,

May you cherish the card, the cuddle, the kiss,

And in that moment, remember,

Being a Father, is a privilege,

And a bliss



Happy Father’s Day Fellas…